Review: Dark Histories: Season Four

5 stars. So awesome. Entertaining, varied, full of the detail-rich writing I'm looking for. I'm such a fan. Favorites: The Chocolate Cream Killer, Alexander Pearce, and the one about Nandor Fodor and the poltergeist. Just like the show's tagline says: the facts are stranger than fiction. The Cardiff Giant was also an extremely hilarious one - I looked it up... pictures exist, and they are fantastic. I hope Ben publishes more of these, in the meantime, I'm lucky to have the podcast.

Dark Histories: Season Four on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads

Review; Danse Macabre

5 stars. I'd recommend this for King fans and horror fans and horror writers... anyone who enjoys reading about horror as much as they enjoy reading the genre itself. King's (delightfully) recognizable voice has been such a comfort during these strange times. In this extraordinary piece of nonfiction, he presents an overview of the horror genre from the 1950s through the 1980s, exploring its origins, mediums, archetypes and all stars. It's an outdated chronicle that I highlighted the shit out of, because I'm an obsessive and I find that this sort of thing charges my batteries. Brain food.

I want to touch on the outdated part - not because it took away from my reading experience, only that it made me thirsty for more. Dear Santa, the only thing I want for Christmas this year is for Stephen King to write a Part II about my last thirty years. Let's talk podcasts, found footage, and creepypastas. Let's talk about the internet, and fan fiction, and STREAMING. I would kill to read this.

Not everything is outdated, though. Many of his theories about why horror is produced and consumed ring true today. Maybe even moreso, today. It was incredibly interesting to read him argue that horror on television never truly took off because it could never be scarier than the news. The way he identifies and characterizes economical horror (using a scene from Amityville Horror as a brilliant example) made me think of, well, Squid Game. There's a reason why that show hit #1 when it did. And the way he describes feeling a sort of maniacal glee destroying the world when he wrote The Stand. Why do you think I read it in mid-2020?

Another idea that stood out to me: "that disbelief is not like a balloon, which may be suspended in air with a minimum of effort; it is like a lead weight, which has to be hoisted with a clean and a jerk and held up by main force. Disbelief isn't light; it's heavy." Only notable because I have had two recent conversations with folks who stay away from fantasy, science fiction and horror because "it isn't real." Devastating, if you ask me.

King is the best, but he's also an expert. As much as he hates on overanalysis and the so-called "critical reading" certain college professors employ (wringing a story dry, essentially), he offers a lot of fantastic writing on the classics. Some of which I agreed with, some of which I did not. But he really, really knows his shit, and I learned so much. I have a long list of books to read and movies to see... I clearly know my way around maybe just one corner of this world. I'm eager for more.

Danse Macabre on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads

Review: Between Two Fires

5 stars... the easiest 5 star rating I've ever awarded. I highly, highly recommend this exquisite book of religious, medieval horror. Wow. My high expectations were absolutely blown to smithereens. I wish I had read this in school because the urge to dive into these words and do the whole analysis/dissection/discussion thing is very strong.

Between Two Fires takes place in mid-1300s France; the Plague Years. Thomas, a disgraced knight who has fallen into thievery with a group of brigands, encounters a young girl in a Norman village. She is alone and innocent and he feels, almost inexplicably, protective of her. But then she starts spouting religious lore and prophecies, and seems to know things - and possess skills that she shouldn't. Despite his questions, Thomas follows the girl on a sort of pilgrimage for the sake of his soul and for the sake of the world.

While I could definitely argue that this book hit me so right because it checks a lot of personally-interesting boxes (medieval horror, religious horror, plague stuff, disturbing monsters, found family), I would also say that it is simply on its face a tremendous and successful story. There is lightness and humor and hope written in ways that don't seem cheesy... these elements just add to the fullness and richness of the narrative arc. And the details! Christopher Buehlman really knows what he's talking about. The world he drops us into is immersive and vivid.

I don't usually gush over characters (I read a review on this godforsaken website recently in which the reviewer wished a certain male hero would "slap her ass like a drum"), but I really, really love Thomas, Matthieu and Delphine. They are as admirable as they are askew, and lovable in that I know you are doomed sort of way. Thomas especially ... oof. Not saying he could slap my ass, but I'd love to give him a hug, lol.

I can't go without mentioning that I happen to be a non-religious person who really enjoys religious stories, especially religious horror. I mean look - an epic battle between heaven and hell over the souls of earth? That just makes for a damn good story. It's good vs evil, a classic, and it simmers with fun, disturbing possibilities. But there is a quality to the war as it is depicted in this book that is especially heartwrenching and gorgeous. I studied art history in school, and I swear I could see the angels and demons fighting like in the paintings I've memorized.

My first read of 2022 and I already know it'll be on my Top 5 list for the year. I can't wait to read it again - was tempted to turn back to page 1 the second I finished it. Phew. Again: wow. This is so my fucking cup of tea. More, please? How about a Between Three Fires, just for the fun of it?

Between Two Fires on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads

Review: The Last House on Needless Street

5 stars. WHAT IN THE EVERLOVING MOTHERFUCKING MESSED UP MEMORY PALACE DID I JUST READ?! I could only DREAM of developing a story like this, let alone WRITING IT and WRITING IT PERFECTLY. I am all heart-eyes after that sublime, scary, sad, spectacular reading experience. HIGHLY recommend, and highly recommend going in as blind as possible. Normally I don't care about spoilers, but this time: AVOID THEM.

At the beginning of The Last House on Needless Street we meet Ted. Ted is struggling to keep it together in order to care for his daughter, as well as his cat Olivia. He drinks too much, can't keep a job and suffers from mysterious gaps in his memory. We know immediately that something is wrong in Ted's world, but the truth isn't revealed until we've bobbed and weaved through the twists and turns of his mental landscape. And it is a fascinating journey.

For a book that tackles such dark subjects - abuse and murder, in all their horriflying shapes and sizes - it's really, really funny. Olivia serves as a hilarious narrator with all her cat-titude and superiority. Even Ted has his moments of wry irony and... dare I say it, adorable self-awareness? The depictions of mental illness, addiction, even criminal behavior were done with astute understanding and even compassion. It all works together, in the end, like one of Ted’s ridiculous recipes.

But I can't go without praising, beyond the brilliance of the premise, the brilliance of the plotting. This is, without a doubt, one of the most perfectly paced, perfectly plotted books I've ever read. I saw nothing coming and loved it. The layers are revealed almost lovingly, and they all made perfect sense in the big picture. Nothing felt cheap or too far or too convenient. This book demands a re-read, which I may do almost immediately, because I want to bask in the awareness of what the clues mean this time.

When you read a lot of horror like me, you tend to recognize the landscape. I'm so happy to report that this book took me somewhere entirely new. I'm excited to see what comes from Catriona Ward next. (Can we talk about the US cover though? Not exactly... the choice that I would've made. Don't judge this book by that cover.)

TEAM OLIVIA.

The Last House on Needless Street on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads

Review: Dark Histories: Season Three

5 stars. Absolutely wonderful as ever, Season 3 starts off with a bang with The Green Bicycle Mystery (a classic) and carries through with more entertaining, compelling, dark stories. Honestly picking this up was one of the best things for my brain during this anxious time and I wish I had an unlimited supply! Recommended, as always, for fans of the podcast or for fans of true crime, creepy history, etc.

Ben's writing went from great to even better in this one. I always have a favorite, and this time it was The Dodleston Messages (not terribly creepy but for some reason super fascinating/funny to me), but I also really enjoyed Death Raft and Harry Price & the Seance of Rosalie - both unfamiliar to me prior to reading. The details in Death Raft are so vivid and dreadful and disturbing I couldn't get the images out of my head for a few days and researched further.

What a time for those of us into all things creepy! Ben is like my own personal curator of the Wikipedia articles I consumed as a young person. MORE PLEASE!

Dark Histories, Season Three on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads

Review: Razorblade Tears

5 stars. Absolutely electrifying - about as real as it gets. These characters are not extreme caricatures - the real folks they're based on are just that extreme. Virginian born-and-raised here and I got goosebumps recognizing the divides - generational, race-based, minority-based, class-based, etc. - I have witnessed and experienced in this state all my life. To depict a story like this without using obnoxious symbolism, without stumbling over political tripwires, without leaning too much toward condemnation, without allowing even a whiff of insecurity over the subject matter... is super impressive. It's just a real book. It's a real thing, a real scenario. These characters, and these situations, exist.

Razorblade Tears is about two fathers, Ike and Buddy Lee, who have very little in common except for their homophobia and the fact that their sons were married to each other before they were shot and killed. Driven to work through their grief and regrets, the fathers set out to find answers and avenge the sons they never defended or accepted when they were alive. It's a book about masculinity, sexuality, race, fatherhood, loss, and fear, set importantly in the complicated Virginia south. It's also a damn good thriller.

S.A. Cosby writes with a sharpness I admire. Insanely painful subject matter aside, his word choices and frank sentences complement the tight pacing and wry storytelling. Razorblade Tears is incredibly cinematic and violent and touches the very heart of what has gone so wrong in this dreadful experiment that is America. It is written with deep understanding, sensitivity and respect for circumstances and context and for multifaceted characters who simmer with contradiction and hypocrisy, even sometimes with self-awareness. And with the capacity for growth.

That sounds like so much, and it is. Just like living here in today's day and age is so much. But Cosby manages to blend in just enough humor, lightness, and a satisfying crunchiness that reading this isn't without closure, or hope. Oh my god, it's so good. It just strikes me as a story that landed in the right hands at the right time and out came something painfully perfect. I cannot recommend it enough. Looking forward to the inevitable adaptation already!

Razorblade Tears on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads

Review: The Death of Jane Lawrence

5 stars. By far one of my most exciting reads of 2021; Caitlin Starling is officially on my radar as an incredibly innovative horror author and I can't wait to read her other work. My expectations were absolutely shattered - the thing is, everyone tries to do Rebecca. Everyone. But no one can quite get there, because Rebecca is Rebecca and that's what makes it so great. Starling knows this, so she takes the basics and slams them into a messy pulp, mixes in a touch of Vita Nostra, and pops a magical cherry on top.

The Death of Jane Lawrence opens with our logical Jane determined to pursue a marriage of convenience with doctor Augustine Lawrence. She's run the numbers (literally), and figures that he is the perfect candidate for a mutually beneficial arrangement... to be husband and wife but only in name. And then Jane meets the good doctor, and encounters a deep attraction that wobbles her carefully crafted existence. Quickly Jane discovers that desire cannot be measured, or predicted, or controlled.

Even more mysterious is Dr. Lawrence's rules: he must spend every night at his manor without her. It suits Jane just fine until an unhappy accident lands her with no other option than to join him for a night. But she finds the manor to be a woeful and neglected place, not to mention her new husband's frantic paranoid reaction to her presence there. Normally I'd stop the synopsis with that, but I'll include: as Jane attempts to navigate her new marriage under such dark circumstances, she encounters an arrogant group of doctor/magicians, a new metaphysical philosophy, impossible hauntings and terrible ghosts and a quest that takes her to the most extraordinary limits of her mind, body and soul.

A big part of my strong reaction to this book has to do with how refreshingly unpredictable it is. My heart was pounding by the time I reached the final pages. Usually I can see where things are going, you know? As a frequent reader of gothic horror it can be easy to see where twists and turns typically lead. BUT NOT THIS TIME. Nope, get ready for a wild, mind-bending, thrilling, weird ride. I absolutely loved it. What could've been heavy with tropes absolutely flew out of this world and into another.

I also loved Jane. Of course she's annoying, especially in the beginning - normally I hate characters who poke their nose where it doesn't belong. But the more I read the more I realized that Jane is a perfectly formed character who is perfectly suited to this particular journey. A lot of reviewers harped on the fact that she grew so obsessed/dedicated to a man she had basically just met - and I agree, that's a bit of a stretch. But to me it's a narrative way to demonstrate how Jane's world both narrows and expands at the same time. She prefers a controlled, logical existence, but she is drawn to the strange fire she feels for Augustine; he is an opportunity for her... plus, she's stubborn AF. Jane isn't really the type to just let things go, you know?

I wanted more, but I really appreciate the lingering questions. I can't wait to re-read this one again and again. (The writing, the flow of the words, is also really beautiful.) I cannot emphasize enough: The Death of Jane Lawrence is so much fun.

Further reading:

Vita Nostra
Jane Eyre
Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell
Rebecca, LOL

The Death of Jane Lawrence on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads

Review: My Heart Is a Chainsaw

5 stars. Every time I finish a SGJ book I gasp. Then I cackle loudly in utter delight like an evil villain. His are the books that leave me unquestionably, thoroughly, deeply (and disturbingly?) satisfied. He's so, so, so, so, smart when it comes to writing these dark, heartfelt tributes to the horror genre and this one has to be up there in terms of my personal favorites. Jade has a fantastic voice and I really felt - and rooted - for her, in all her fierce and colorful glory. There's something so beautiful and emotional and touching about this story, something I recognize now as distinctly SGJ. It surprised me in The Only Good Indians, but I dove in ready here. Fucking legendary, mate.

My Heart is a Chainsaw... well, let's see. It's about a girl named Jade, failed and forgotten and feisty and a huge fan of horror. Slashers, specifically. They give her comfort and offer an escape from her small town life of poverty, betrayal and hardship. She's lonely, with only Michael and Jason and Freddy to keep her company. She uses the narratives and tropes she knows and loves so well to frame her own world and narrate her life, much to the amusement and judgment of her teachers, family and local law enforcement. She's seen an outcast. A loner. A weirdo.

But then something starts happening in her town. Suspicious deaths. Blood in the water. And Jade starts to sense that her love of slashers, her knowledge of the rules and the twists and turns, have landed her in a uniquely suited position to actually deal with one that is actually happening in front of her. All the ingredients have landed: the final girl, the red herrings, the blood sacrifice - now it's up to Jade to nudge things along. And nudge she does, till we hit one of the most electrifying, gruesome, heart wrenching third acts I've ever read.

SGJ understands why the father and son dinner table scene is so crucial in Jaws. My Heart is a Chainsaw is an incredibly graphic slasher, with terrible monsters and even worse humans. And there's as much deep emotional agony as there is gore. It's a scary book, but at its center there's a pulsing human heart, an unapologetically fierce Final Girl (whether she wants the label or not) who desires connection and acceptance. Under all the creative kills, the bloody backstories, and the twists and turns, Jade makes us care, and care strongly.

Even the more superficial elements are not to be ignored. SGJ absolutely saturates this novel with slasher film references, which was super, super fun for me. I've spoken before about how I'm not just someone who enjoys consuming horror; I also like reading/learning about horror, so this kind of felt like the perfect marriage between... I don't know, Stephen King and the In Search of Darkness movies on Shudder. This is my language, okay?! But he also takes a lot of the tropes and makes them sort of gorgeous and surprising again, meaning this work of metafiction is not just clever but also rich and vivid and infused with warmth. THAT ENDING.

Alright, I'm off to daydream about canoes and black cloaks in bathroom stalls and machetes. As one does.

My Heart is a Chainsaw on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads

Review: Dark Histories: Season Two

5 stars. Absolutely wonderful, and right up my alley. I feel like Ben really hit his stride in Season 2, especially with the Murder of Julia Wallace... the writing goes from great to truly excellent. And it only gets better from there. He manages to thread really interesting details into the larger narratives without getting bogged down with context. It's fantastic.

In my review of the first book I described these stories as "palette cleansers," and I feel like I should clarify that I mean them to be used that way only for those interested in, well, dark stories from history. A few of these are really, really dark and therefore really captivating, to me. My favorites were Emilie Sagee, the Nelly Butler Haunting, the Spider Man of Denver (seriously GROSS), and Room 1046, which is one of those unsolved mysteries that is so truly frustrating to me (similar to Dyatlov Pass) that if I were to invent a time machine the first place I'd visit is that locked room.

I recommend, for the perfect reading experience: a cozy armchair, a thick blanket, a crackling wood fire, perhaps some light rain or snow, and a cup of cinnamon apple spice tea with a shot of rum.

Dark Histories, Season Two on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads

Review: The Book of Accidents

5 stars. RIGHT. I've never written a review this drunk before, for various reasons. But for other various reasons, I had to delay writing this one a bit and want to make sure I get some things down before the book fades away into the void (no not like that void, just like... the void). OMFG so, I loved this book. I kind of hated big time on Wanderers for being compared to Stephen King when I just didn't feel it, and I'm pretty sure Chuck Wendig read that and got annoyed and then promptly sat down and wrote The Book of Accidents just to personally prove me wrong. WELL, IT WORKED. This read and sounded and felt like a Stephen King book.

Okay so The Book of Accidents: when his abusive father dies, Nate Graves is determined to cut any lingering connection with the man and move on with his life. But when he finds out his father left him his house - essentially for free - Nate and his wife Maddie decide it might be a nice change for them to move there with their son Oliver, who is especially sensitive to other people's pain. And then, well, some weird shit happens. Maddie, a talented artist, starts to feel something off about her process. Nate starts seeing things and wonders if the land is haunted. And Oliver attempts to navigate a new school and new friends - including one who can apparently summon things out of mid-air.

Turns out the Graves family moved right across from a "thin" place called Ramble Rocks, and to go into too much additional detail might get spoiler-y so I'll abstain. BUT JUST KNOW that it's deliciously scary, fun and wacky. I love Chuck Wendig because he's able to write some really emotional, moving, disturbing stuff but he can also whip out the wacky to make everyone feel better. Oh, is this scene really gross and weird and sad? Here he is, Wacky Wendig, showing up between the pages to drop a line or two that's hilarious and grounding and takes the sting out of things!

Speaking of taking the sting out of things... well, there is some serious deep-ass WISDOM up in this book. Who knew (well, actually, I think a lot of people knew) that Wacky Wending is also sometimes Wise Wendig, dropping helpful smartbombs about humanity - and, what struck most true for me - about parenting in a world that looks like what it does right now. He doesn't shy away from scary monster shit, but also scary real world shit, which I really appreciated and found oddly comforting in 2021. Things like climate change, school shootings, the threat against democracy, the failures of America, etc. are all acknowledged. Refreshing that this stuff appears to have informed his work which therefore informed me that I am not insane and yes, the world is shit and we are all processing this together.

I really, really, really, really, really, really liked the short chapters.

What other ramblings can my inebriated brain come up with? Oh, well, there's this interlude in a haunted mine and there's a leg thing and it blew my mind, but for the most part, this book is more creepy than downright scary. I liked it that way. The tone felt well-suited to the story and made the whole thing really damn fun. I highly recommend this: a classic sort of horror/dark fantasy with King vibes (and maybe Spielburg vibes?). Read it. Lol, good night.

The Book of Accidents on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads