Review: Nothing But Blackened Teeth

Quick status update: I decided at the very, very last minute that 2022 is going to be all about catching up on books that I have or have around but haven't read yet. I desperately need to clear out my KU and my library shelves and also like 100+ books I own - both physically and digitally - that are unread. So far, so good... I'm down to 3 on KU and 2 loans from the library. We'll see if I can keep it up. I'm still on my neverending quest to catch up on series that I started, so that'll be a priority as well. Otherwise I'm going easy on myself this year. Just living is challenging enough.

On to my review...

4 stars. I went in with really high hopes for this, kinda skimmed my way through it dejectedly, but then it ended with a bang that I loved and that shot my rating way up? Not sure that's ever happened before, but here we are. I absolutely adore horror novellas, and Japanese folklore, so this was right up my alley... despite some tortured writing and try-hard vibes.

Nothing But Blackened Teeth features a gathering of old friends, tangled romantic histories very present and very alive, in an ancient mansion so two of them can get married. Immediately it's clear that this web of friendships is unhealthy and tense, which sets things up perfectly for a little supernatural intervention. Okay, a lot of supernatural intervention. Things get crazy fast. Horror is inevitable. Tragedy is inevitable.

The unfurling of this plot is dragged down a bit by prose absolutely dripping - sopping wet - with metaphors (see what I did there?). But it's lightened by the occasional self-aware/meta comment by a character, and by what's left unsaid, which is a whole damn lot. A full-length version of this story might've been a lot of things: scarier, more intimate, less confusing. But the short length crisps up nicely and lets us as readers be smart enough to draw our own conclusions.

The imagery is on point if not a little repetitive, though what stands out to me is the ending. It's so difficult, maybe almost impossible, to land perfectly with horror... but the final pages of NBBT left me relieved, satisfied, and unsettled (in a good way) all at once. Not to sound too much like a weird neighbor or a toxic boss, but I'll be keeping an eye on Cassandra Khaw. This book is badass.

Nothing But Blackened Teeth on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads

Review: Between Two Fires

5 stars... the easiest 5 star rating I've ever awarded. I highly, highly recommend this exquisite book of religious, medieval horror. Wow. My high expectations were absolutely blown to smithereens. I wish I had read this in school because the urge to dive into these words and do the whole analysis/dissection/discussion thing is very strong.

Between Two Fires takes place in mid-1300s France; the Plague Years. Thomas, a disgraced knight who has fallen into thievery with a group of brigands, encounters a young girl in a Norman village. She is alone and innocent and he feels, almost inexplicably, protective of her. But then she starts spouting religious lore and prophecies, and seems to know things - and possess skills that she shouldn't. Despite his questions, Thomas follows the girl on a sort of pilgrimage for the sake of his soul and for the sake of the world.

While I could definitely argue that this book hit me so right because it checks a lot of personally-interesting boxes (medieval horror, religious horror, plague stuff, disturbing monsters, found family), I would also say that it is simply on its face a tremendous and successful story. There is lightness and humor and hope written in ways that don't seem cheesy... these elements just add to the fullness and richness of the narrative arc. And the details! Christopher Buehlman really knows what he's talking about. The world he drops us into is immersive and vivid.

I don't usually gush over characters (I read a review on this godforsaken website recently in which the reviewer wished a certain male hero would "slap her ass like a drum"), but I really, really love Thomas, Matthieu and Delphine. They are as admirable as they are askew, and lovable in that I know you are doomed sort of way. Thomas especially ... oof. Not saying he could slap my ass, but I'd love to give him a hug, lol.

I can't go without mentioning that I happen to be a non-religious person who really enjoys religious stories, especially religious horror. I mean look - an epic battle between heaven and hell over the souls of earth? That just makes for a damn good story. It's good vs evil, a classic, and it simmers with fun, disturbing possibilities. But there is a quality to the war as it is depicted in this book that is especially heartwrenching and gorgeous. I studied art history in school, and I swear I could see the angels and demons fighting like in the paintings I've memorized.

My first read of 2022 and I already know it'll be on my Top 5 list for the year. I can't wait to read it again - was tempted to turn back to page 1 the second I finished it. Phew. Again: wow. This is so my fucking cup of tea. More, please? How about a Between Three Fires, just for the fun of it?

Between Two Fires on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads

Review: The Lost Village

4 stars. This is pretty much a perfect thriller, or at least, perfectly suited to my reading interests (Scandinavian, well-paced, super dark and super spooky). It reminded me of an elevated slasher - cinematic in tone but sophisticated in premise, execution and resolution.

The Lost Village is about a group of five filmmakers who travel to an isolated ghost town in remote Sweden to make a documentary about an old mystery: in 1959, the murdered, mutilated body of a resident was found in the center square, and all other residents of the town had disappeared. Alice, whose grandmother's family vanished along with the rest, is determined to trace her way from the past to the present and find some answers along the way. Narration alternates between the present and the past... throwing that out there because I know flashbacks are an annoyance for some readers.

I'll say upfront that I docked a star because I absolutely could not stand the protagonist (being inside her head made me itch), but I wonder if the author intentionally made her a little naive/prickly/selfish because she's more realistic that way... insecurities battling headstrong determination at every turn. I can relate to that. Something about her just didn't quite click, though. I suppose she acted when it mattered, in the end.

Beyond that, I completely admire the author's presentation of mental illness. We owe mentally ill women especially patience, time, and comprehensive, accessible care, even in fictional worlds that are often dominated by men, or by inappropriate villainizing. It's a shame that such a stigma still exists around something that causes so many so much suffering, and we should reckon with the past by doing better in the future. I'll look to authors like this for hope when I feel like I'm screaming into the void.

LOVED the atmosphere. LOVED the creepy moments and the dread - this felt full-on horror during certain moments. A story like this must go horribly wrong for the characters at some point, and the author really went there, painfully. I could barely put this down except when I needed a breather. LOVED the ending.

The Lost Village on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads

Review: The Last House on Needless Street

5 stars. WHAT IN THE EVERLOVING MOTHERFUCKING MESSED UP MEMORY PALACE DID I JUST READ?! I could only DREAM of developing a story like this, let alone WRITING IT and WRITING IT PERFECTLY. I am all heart-eyes after that sublime, scary, sad, spectacular reading experience. HIGHLY recommend, and highly recommend going in as blind as possible. Normally I don't care about spoilers, but this time: AVOID THEM.

At the beginning of The Last House on Needless Street we meet Ted. Ted is struggling to keep it together in order to care for his daughter, as well as his cat Olivia. He drinks too much, can't keep a job and suffers from mysterious gaps in his memory. We know immediately that something is wrong in Ted's world, but the truth isn't revealed until we've bobbed and weaved through the twists and turns of his mental landscape. And it is a fascinating journey.

For a book that tackles such dark subjects - abuse and murder, in all their horriflying shapes and sizes - it's really, really funny. Olivia serves as a hilarious narrator with all her cat-titude and superiority. Even Ted has his moments of wry irony and... dare I say it, adorable self-awareness? The depictions of mental illness, addiction, even criminal behavior were done with astute understanding and even compassion. It all works together, in the end, like one of Ted’s ridiculous recipes.

But I can't go without praising, beyond the brilliance of the premise, the brilliance of the plotting. This is, without a doubt, one of the most perfectly paced, perfectly plotted books I've ever read. I saw nothing coming and loved it. The layers are revealed almost lovingly, and they all made perfect sense in the big picture. Nothing felt cheap or too far or too convenient. This book demands a re-read, which I may do almost immediately, because I want to bask in the awareness of what the clues mean this time.

When you read a lot of horror like me, you tend to recognize the landscape. I'm so happy to report that this book took me somewhere entirely new. I'm excited to see what comes from Catriona Ward next. (Can we talk about the US cover though? Not exactly... the choice that I would've made. Don't judge this book by that cover.)

TEAM OLIVIA.

The Last House on Needless Street on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads

Review: Chasing the Boogeyman

3 stars. Interesting! I'm not sure I would call this horror, exactly, or even a thriller... it's more like a uniquely formatted memoir/mystery. I've never read anything by Richard Chizmar before, but 10 pages in I was like ... okay, this guy loves Stephen King. And Ray Bradbury. Sure enough, he references and admires both loudly. I think that's awesome, and those authors are the absolute masters, but I wish horror authors would channel someone else every now and then, lol. It was just so obvious.

Chasing the Boogeyman is a fictional story written as though it is a new edition of a non-fiction true crime book "originally published" in the 90s about a series of murders that "take place" n the 80s. The setting, and even some of the characters, are real. The killings/circumstances are not, but that doesn't matter. It's still a strong narrative and a real pageturner. I read it in one day. Think I'll Be Gone in the Dark.

Unfortunately this didn't... really meet my expectations. It read like a slightly more elevated creepypasta, like something you'd find on r/nosleep, which isn't a bad thing, it just didn't blow me out of the water. I can't relate to the deep nostalgia Richard Chizmar felt for his childhood and adolescence, not just because I didn't grow up in a small town, but because I wasn't as, well, privileged. Bradbury admittedly looks back at the 50s with rose-tinted glasses, but at least he chose to express a profound sense of humility and gratitude over a sort of feaux-aw shucks attitude and melodramatic posturing about growing up.

Eesh, that sounds really harsh. I'm sorry! This is one of the highest rated horror books of the year, and probably deserves it for the creativity of the premise alone. The chapters about the murders were well-written - although I PICKED OUT THE KILLER ALMOST IMMEDIATELY! Why does my brain do that! I was so bummed when I found out I had been right ... I was really hoping for a better twist.

I'd better stop before I complain this into oblivion. Listen, I recommend it. I liked it! I'd like to read more by Chizmar. It's perfect for fans of King and Bradbury and true crime books. It has clever moments. I loved the pictures, as staged as they looked haha. The blending of the real and the fictional is very well done. It just didn't ... you know, thrill me.

Chasing the Boogeyman on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads

Review: The Death of Jane Lawrence

5 stars. By far one of my most exciting reads of 2021; Caitlin Starling is officially on my radar as an incredibly innovative horror author and I can't wait to read her other work. My expectations were absolutely shattered - the thing is, everyone tries to do Rebecca. Everyone. But no one can quite get there, because Rebecca is Rebecca and that's what makes it so great. Starling knows this, so she takes the basics and slams them into a messy pulp, mixes in a touch of Vita Nostra, and pops a magical cherry on top.

The Death of Jane Lawrence opens with our logical Jane determined to pursue a marriage of convenience with doctor Augustine Lawrence. She's run the numbers (literally), and figures that he is the perfect candidate for a mutually beneficial arrangement... to be husband and wife but only in name. And then Jane meets the good doctor, and encounters a deep attraction that wobbles her carefully crafted existence. Quickly Jane discovers that desire cannot be measured, or predicted, or controlled.

Even more mysterious is Dr. Lawrence's rules: he must spend every night at his manor without her. It suits Jane just fine until an unhappy accident lands her with no other option than to join him for a night. But she finds the manor to be a woeful and neglected place, not to mention her new husband's frantic paranoid reaction to her presence there. Normally I'd stop the synopsis with that, but I'll include: as Jane attempts to navigate her new marriage under such dark circumstances, she encounters an arrogant group of doctor/magicians, a new metaphysical philosophy, impossible hauntings and terrible ghosts and a quest that takes her to the most extraordinary limits of her mind, body and soul.

A big part of my strong reaction to this book has to do with how refreshingly unpredictable it is. My heart was pounding by the time I reached the final pages. Usually I can see where things are going, you know? As a frequent reader of gothic horror it can be easy to see where twists and turns typically lead. BUT NOT THIS TIME. Nope, get ready for a wild, mind-bending, thrilling, weird ride. I absolutely loved it. What could've been heavy with tropes absolutely flew out of this world and into another.

I also loved Jane. Of course she's annoying, especially in the beginning - normally I hate characters who poke their nose where it doesn't belong. But the more I read the more I realized that Jane is a perfectly formed character who is perfectly suited to this particular journey. A lot of reviewers harped on the fact that she grew so obsessed/dedicated to a man she had basically just met - and I agree, that's a bit of a stretch. But to me it's a narrative way to demonstrate how Jane's world both narrows and expands at the same time. She prefers a controlled, logical existence, but she is drawn to the strange fire she feels for Augustine; he is an opportunity for her... plus, she's stubborn AF. Jane isn't really the type to just let things go, you know?

I wanted more, but I really appreciate the lingering questions. I can't wait to re-read this one again and again. (The writing, the flow of the words, is also really beautiful.) I cannot emphasize enough: The Death of Jane Lawrence is so much fun.

Further reading:

Vita Nostra
Jane Eyre
Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell
Rebecca, LOL

The Death of Jane Lawrence on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads

Review: Empire of the Vampire

3 stars. Hmmmmmmm.

First of all - wow, I'm surprised this book hasn't gone totally viral on TikTok, because it is a MOOD, a VIBE, and an AESTHETIC all rolled into one. This is going to sound like a very weird observation, but I think this story would've been better as ....... a video game. The quest/D&D vibes, the visuals, the delightful side characters all sort of give off a game flavor, or something. It's also incredibly long, and it requires an active eye and an active brain because there are many details in this world that for whatever reason would not stick for me. Certain names, for example, and aspects of the conflict (the bloodlines, the various rulers, etc.). The sheer amount of scrolling back I did was unprecedented. But I stuck with it. I couldn't resist.

And yet... sigh. It was okay. A couple of things just weren't to my preference, like the non-chronological narrative. I prefer, like the protagonist's captor, for stories to be told in order. And a lot of the exposition was only thinly veiled by the aforementioned captor's requests that our narrator "explain things to him as though talking to a child." AKA, for the reader. Real subtle, there. I also tend to be a bit quick to reject stories that involve, like, the one true epic love (unless I'm reading romance, of course). This bothered me in The Name of the Wind, which is a clear and blatant influence on Empire of the Vampire.

Speaking of influences: there's so much. From Stephen King (if a character hovers at a window and says "let me in," my brain is going straight to 'Salem's Lot) to LOTR (SO MUCH LOTR... the ringbearer-I-mean-Dior should decide, the "no man can kill me" thing, references to riddle games, so much more) to HP (nice to visit the forbidden section of a library again) to the Witcher books to ASOIAF to True Blood to The Da Vinci Code to even like...the Southern Reach Trilogy and The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco (plus the more overt ones like Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles), I could detect references and borrowed elements around every corner. It's kind of fun, actually. This book knows its ancestors and pays tribute accordingly, if not a little obviously.

I will say: it took an incredibly talented, smart, dedicated, rock star of a writer to craft this story. Next to other high fantasies, the worldbuilding is there. The tropes are there, applied adorably and with delight. But where the writing is very beautiful and the the themes compelling, there's something a little ... immature about this book. One reviewer stated that the characters seem like "caricatures designed for specific fandoms," and I could not agree more. Listen, Mr. Kristoff is a very famous, successful author with a passionate following, and I wouldn't blame if he... used what he's figured out works, if that makes sense.

I've heard other reviewers call this book out for male posturing, or criticize the swearing/bawdy humor. Maybe that's part of what I felt was immature, although typically I don't find that sort of thing offensive or bothersome (although a couple of the period jokes made me pause). I would also say that perhaps there are some pacing issues. Perhaps with plotting, as well. Again, the flashback-flashforward storytelling device is NOT my favorite, but in this case I think I can objectively say it weakened the flow a bit.

I don't know if I'll read the next one. To be honest, I spent a lot of this book miserable alongside the characters. There are victories, to be sure, and warm moments, I suppose, but the story in this book primarily involves loss - or the anticipation of loss. The dread of loss. Loss of innocence, faith, love, loved ones. Things going wrong, over and over and over again. I don't know if I'd want to put myself through that again. Oh, and trigger warning: animal death. I'd dock a star for that regardless.

I have the utmost respect for Jay Kristoff and his success is well-deserved. He's such a talented writer and I love that people love this book. I'm just not one of them, today.

The illustrations get 5 stars.

Empire of the Vampire on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads

Review: My Heart Is a Chainsaw

5 stars. Every time I finish a SGJ book I gasp. Then I cackle loudly in utter delight like an evil villain. His are the books that leave me unquestionably, thoroughly, deeply (and disturbingly?) satisfied. He's so, so, so, so, smart when it comes to writing these dark, heartfelt tributes to the horror genre and this one has to be up there in terms of my personal favorites. Jade has a fantastic voice and I really felt - and rooted - for her, in all her fierce and colorful glory. There's something so beautiful and emotional and touching about this story, something I recognize now as distinctly SGJ. It surprised me in The Only Good Indians, but I dove in ready here. Fucking legendary, mate.

My Heart is a Chainsaw... well, let's see. It's about a girl named Jade, failed and forgotten and feisty and a huge fan of horror. Slashers, specifically. They give her comfort and offer an escape from her small town life of poverty, betrayal and hardship. She's lonely, with only Michael and Jason and Freddy to keep her company. She uses the narratives and tropes she knows and loves so well to frame her own world and narrate her life, much to the amusement and judgment of her teachers, family and local law enforcement. She's seen an outcast. A loner. A weirdo.

But then something starts happening in her town. Suspicious deaths. Blood in the water. And Jade starts to sense that her love of slashers, her knowledge of the rules and the twists and turns, have landed her in a uniquely suited position to actually deal with one that is actually happening in front of her. All the ingredients have landed: the final girl, the red herrings, the blood sacrifice - now it's up to Jade to nudge things along. And nudge she does, till we hit one of the most electrifying, gruesome, heart wrenching third acts I've ever read.

SGJ understands why the father and son dinner table scene is so crucial in Jaws. My Heart is a Chainsaw is an incredibly graphic slasher, with terrible monsters and even worse humans. And there's as much deep emotional agony as there is gore. It's a scary book, but at its center there's a pulsing human heart, an unapologetically fierce Final Girl (whether she wants the label or not) who desires connection and acceptance. Under all the creative kills, the bloody backstories, and the twists and turns, Jade makes us care, and care strongly.

Even the more superficial elements are not to be ignored. SGJ absolutely saturates this novel with slasher film references, which was super, super fun for me. I've spoken before about how I'm not just someone who enjoys consuming horror; I also like reading/learning about horror, so this kind of felt like the perfect marriage between... I don't know, Stephen King and the In Search of Darkness movies on Shudder. This is my language, okay?! But he also takes a lot of the tropes and makes them sort of gorgeous and surprising again, meaning this work of metafiction is not just clever but also rich and vivid and infused with warmth. THAT ENDING.

Alright, I'm off to daydream about canoes and black cloaks in bathroom stalls and machetes. As one does.

My Heart is a Chainsaw on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads

Review: The Book of Accidents

5 stars. RIGHT. I've never written a review this drunk before, for various reasons. But for other various reasons, I had to delay writing this one a bit and want to make sure I get some things down before the book fades away into the void (no not like that void, just like... the void). OMFG so, I loved this book. I kind of hated big time on Wanderers for being compared to Stephen King when I just didn't feel it, and I'm pretty sure Chuck Wendig read that and got annoyed and then promptly sat down and wrote The Book of Accidents just to personally prove me wrong. WELL, IT WORKED. This read and sounded and felt like a Stephen King book.

Okay so The Book of Accidents: when his abusive father dies, Nate Graves is determined to cut any lingering connection with the man and move on with his life. But when he finds out his father left him his house - essentially for free - Nate and his wife Maddie decide it might be a nice change for them to move there with their son Oliver, who is especially sensitive to other people's pain. And then, well, some weird shit happens. Maddie, a talented artist, starts to feel something off about her process. Nate starts seeing things and wonders if the land is haunted. And Oliver attempts to navigate a new school and new friends - including one who can apparently summon things out of mid-air.

Turns out the Graves family moved right across from a "thin" place called Ramble Rocks, and to go into too much additional detail might get spoiler-y so I'll abstain. BUT JUST KNOW that it's deliciously scary, fun and wacky. I love Chuck Wendig because he's able to write some really emotional, moving, disturbing stuff but he can also whip out the wacky to make everyone feel better. Oh, is this scene really gross and weird and sad? Here he is, Wacky Wendig, showing up between the pages to drop a line or two that's hilarious and grounding and takes the sting out of things!

Speaking of taking the sting out of things... well, there is some serious deep-ass WISDOM up in this book. Who knew (well, actually, I think a lot of people knew) that Wacky Wending is also sometimes Wise Wendig, dropping helpful smartbombs about humanity - and, what struck most true for me - about parenting in a world that looks like what it does right now. He doesn't shy away from scary monster shit, but also scary real world shit, which I really appreciated and found oddly comforting in 2021. Things like climate change, school shootings, the threat against democracy, the failures of America, etc. are all acknowledged. Refreshing that this stuff appears to have informed his work which therefore informed me that I am not insane and yes, the world is shit and we are all processing this together.

I really, really, really, really, really, really liked the short chapters.

What other ramblings can my inebriated brain come up with? Oh, well, there's this interlude in a haunted mine and there's a leg thing and it blew my mind, but for the most part, this book is more creepy than downright scary. I liked it that way. The tone felt well-suited to the story and made the whole thing really damn fun. I highly recommend this: a classic sort of horror/dark fantasy with King vibes (and maybe Spielburg vibes?). Read it. Lol, good night.

The Book of Accidents on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads

Review: Something Wicked This Way Comes

5 stars. Wow. This one moved me to tears. It's so strange... I didn't even really enjoy most of this reading experience. I stopped halfway through to read two other books, because I was bored and confused and needed a break from the purple prose. But somewhere in the second half, I got hooked - or maybe things clicked - and boom, suddenly I was crying. The ending hit me right in the fucking heart, or the gut, or the feels, or something. I just really wasn't expecting that.

Something Wicked This Way Comes should attract readers of all ages and preferences. I feel like my eyes have been opened... I see its influence everywhere from Stephen King to Erin Morgenstern to Clive Barker to Neil Gaiman to Cornelia Funke. It's about the arrival of a carnival at Green Town, Illinois, and how two young boys' discover something dark and sinister under the bright lights and the colorful canopies. It's also about being young and being old and corruption and friendship and fathers and sons and determination and heroism and laughter and free will and... temptation.

It's incredibly beautiful. I don't think I've encountered such gorgeous and unexpected prose since I read Lolita. The imagery is as haunting as it is whimsical and lush. It took some getting used to, but I'll miss those words floating around in my head painting vivid songs. I have associative synesthesia, and this writing might be the closest thing I could find that captures the way my brain concepts concepts and sounds and feelings with certain colors. The words have shapes and edges and corners. Reading this was like dancing inside of an orchestra made of many colors during a thunderstorm.

Originally published in 1962, this book does feature some out-of-date allegories, references and metaphors. And there's a thinly veiled thread of nostalgia running in between the lines, suggesting support for the imagined idea that America was a perfect dreamscape utopia in the 1950s (spoiler alert: it wasn't that). I've also read some fascinating reviews about how this book doesn't hold up at all, especially from an adult perspective. But that's partly why it made me so emotional, I think: like Stephen King's It, it strikes me as a story about the tragedy that is growing up, and I appreciate books that double down on that theme and then give it a solid kick in the teeth for fun.

I would've liked to have read this in college, for a class. I would've liked to have read this at age 13, when the battle between good and evil would've seemed brilliantly intense, and important. But here we are, age 30, disillusioned and cynical and skeptical and yet- and yet- or maybe because all of that- moved to tears by the written sound of laughter and Charles' parting thought that running with the boys, even if it killed him, would be worth it. Ohmygod I'm crying again. Thrilling, this one.

Something Wicked This Way Comes on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads