Review: Say Nothing: A True Story of Murder and Memory in Northern Ireland

5 stars. Phew, this was excellent. Say Nothing is a few things: a detailed history of The Troubles, an investigation into an infamous murder and the others who "disappeared" during those times, and a wrenching character study of the key figures affected and involved. Using a tone that reads much more textbook than true crime (not a bad thing - it's still a page-turner), Patrick Radden Keefe pulls on various threads from this complicated tapestry to uncover and examine the dark truths about the conflict, about morality, about belief, and about humanity as whole. 

A couple of observations:

First of all: for as long as I can remember, I have never really been able to wrap my ahead around the conflict in Ireland. It's an intimidating, almost unbelievable piece of history that's essentially ongoing, and despite my Irish heritage and basic knowledge of the strife I could never talk about it intelligently. This book changed all that. It should be curriculum. It should be a fundamental resource. It should be studied and admired for the way it deftly unlocks an incredibly intricate - and dangerous - safe.

Second: applause to the author for doing so and somehow never truly labeling, criticizing, judging or ultimately losing respect for any of the key players. There are no bad guys here, or rather, everyone is a bad guy (or a bad girl, as it happens). Huge disclaimer, of course: I wasn't there, I've never lived in Ireland, this was my first detailed exposure to this story, and it's quite possible that I just don't get it. But I do believe that Keefe is able to stick to the facts, sordid as they occasionally are, sensitively; maintaining reverence for the victims and for the messy, life-altering aftermaths. 

To that point, I was really struck by the chapter that details Brendan Hughes' later life and eventual conversations as part of the Boston College project. Keefe writes in this chapter - aided by some seriously stomach-churning quotes from Hughes - what are, in my opinion, some of the best words ever written on post-radical disillusionment. "Painting murals on walls to commemorate blanket men after they have died a slow and lonely death from alcohol abuse is no use to anyone ... I would hate for young people now to have this romanticized version of the events of that time. The truth is so very far removed from that and I suppose I'm living proof." 

It's especially heartbreaking and vivid because the entire thing resulted in what many viewed as a non-victory, so IRA participants couldn't even come near to validation. Opinions changed, views were swayed, and political circumstances swirled in vague intangible clouds that lightened as years went by. And the dead ... well, the dead stayed dead, except in the haunted minds of the survivors. Compartmentalizing (and romanticizing, as Hughes ironically notes in a house full of Che posters) must've been so easy in the youth and excitement of it all; grappling with the consequences in the face of long-term failure, though... I cannot. even. imagine. No matter how you look at it, no matter who was "right" or "wrong," the trauma here knows absolutely no bounds.

Human-dealt trauma - that's what it is. Trauma and tragedy perpetuated by the neighbors, the acquaintances, the extended family, the circles you've navigated and known and trusted your whole life. Trauma and tragedy that twists its way into your heart forever. Trauma and tragedy that is so fundamentally human and also so fundamentally useless it makes you repaint the image that comes to mind when you think of "advanced civilization." Human-bred, human-borne, human-built tragedy. It's the world's oldest story, when you think about it, and the one that keeps repeating itself, the one that will continue to repeat itself until the end of time.

I'll be thinking about this - thinking, reflecting, re-reading, researching, and bringing it up randomly at the dinner table - for a long, long time. 

Say Nothing on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads

Review: Dead Mountain

4 stars. I have a bit of an obsession with unsolved mysteries, and the incident at Dyatlov Pass has captivated me for years and years and years. While I’m not quite ready to accept an explanation (will we ever really know?), I am ready to say that the theory posited in this captivating, crisply written book is a very convincing one. I really respect this author for pursuing answers in such a respectful way - he never deviates or forgets that at the core of this “incident” is a tragedy absolutely beyond belief.

In 1959, nine young, experienced, enthusiastic hikers ascended into the mountains and never returned. Their bodies, found scattered and buried under snow in the area surrounding their tent, showed signs of being killed by an “immense unknown force” - some had injuries consistent with a car crash; one was missing her tongue; none were properly dressed to be outside the tent. More oddities: the tent itself was cut from the inside, their clothes tested as highly radioactive, one of the men was wearing two wristwatches. In 1959, no one could have solved such an unusual and sad case, and so it has grown into one of the largest and most unsettling unsolved mysteries in Russia and beyond, inspiring a variety of conspiracy theories including weapons testing, orbs, and U.F.O.’s.

This book tells three stories: the story of the hikers (recreated using diaries and knowledge of their route and gained from interviews), the story of the search and subsequent investigation, and the author’s own personal story as he looks for answers. It’s wonderfully written nonfiction - reminded me of David Grann - and never veers into anything to exploitative, confusing, or irrational. A mystery like this, at its core, is heartbreaking on so many levels and, quite simply, unfair. The author never loses sight of this and trudges on admirably and with care.

As I said initially, his conclusion is an extremely convincing one. I enjoyed his breakdown of the various theories and the methodical process of elimination employed to bring me where he wanted. I’m ready to accept that his theory is probably the most plausible one I’ve seen - but if it is what happened, I’d wonder why it hasn’t happened since. Not just there, in that deadly pass, but everywhere - anywhere - there must be a location SOMEWHERE with similar conditions. Regardless, how unfortunate - how fucking UNLUCKY - for those beautiful young people to be where they were when they were. I absolutely cannot imagine the intense fear they experienced. I read the final chapter three times and I have to say, as cheesy at it sounds, it meant something, to sort of feel like I was there with them, in their final moments.

Highly, HIGHLY recommend this book for those interested in the mystery. Do NOT read the Wikipedia article, or conspiracy blogs. This should be considered a much more authoritative source on the subject.

Dead Mountain on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads

Review: Monster, She Wrote

“There seems to be an unspoken assumption that women aren't interested in horror and speculative fiction, despite ample evidence to the contrary.”

5 stars. Perfect for me, no doubt, but also perfectly researched, crafted, written, and printed. An extremely satisfying read that has already made my TBR list explode. I look forward to diving deeper and continuing my education in all things lady horror! The future is female indeed. 

This book collects brief biographies of fundamental, pioneering, and otherwise impactful female writers of horror. Divided by category and listed chronologically, the entries come across like dainty Wikipedia morsels packed with flavor, insight and wit. It's written simply - nothing too analytical or technical - and directly - nothing too obscure or presumptuous. 

Yeah, so I was the kid who read ghost stories in fourth grade, snuck into horror movies in tenth, wrote research papers on the Scream franchise in college. Horror is interesting to me and probably my favorite genre, though I read almost everything I can get my hands on. As soon as I saw this book from Quirk I snagged it, because I know it'd hit the spot.

And it was delicious. I enjoyed learning about the history of the genre from a specifically feminist angle. I was reminded of certain classic, familiar authors and was taught about new ones. I only wish it was longer! And perhaps dove deeper! A must-read for horror enthusiasts (there’s a ton about science fiction and fantasy as well). I highly recommend the print version, which is charmingly illustrated.

One last quote: 

“These genres of fiction are instruments with which women writers can shake up society and prod readers in an uncomfortable direction, to an unfamiliar space where our anxieties and fears run free. But this is also a space where strength emerges. Women experience horrors in everyday life; the eerie and the terrifying become tools for these writers to call attention to the dangers: frayed family relationships, domestic abuse, body image issues, mental health concerns, bigotry, oppression.”

Monster, She Wrote on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads

Review: The Lost City of Z

4 stars. I'm on a real nonfiction kick lately - nonfiction focused on adventures, specifically - and this delivered. I'm a huge fan of David Grann and despite a bit of an abrupt ending, I really enjoyed this book. As many others have pointed out, it's an adventure story, with a few unexpected answers and revelations packed within its pages.

As a child, I was obsessed with unsolved mysteries. One Christmas morning, I opened a book about them and spent the rest of the day reading it over and over again. Favorites included Amelia Earhart, the Bermuda Triangle, and UFO's. This tickled that fancy, for sure - it's about a journalist's quest to determine what happened to a particular Amazonian explorer decades ago. I can understand his desire for answers; it absolutely baffles the modern mind to encounter a question with no answers. How can someone, with all the tools and technology and resources we have at our feet, simply disappear?

Sir Percy Fawcett, following several semi-successful exploratory ventures into the Amazon Jungle, did just that: he disappeared with his son and his son's friend on a quest to find the mythical City of Z. An El Dorado-type destination, the City of Z has fascinated explorers and scientists and historians for years; many have lost their lives hoping to catch a glimpse of gold through the jungle trees. Grann traces the origin of the myth, traces Fawcett's own developing obsession, and eventually treks to the Amazon himself. It's a fascinating read.

I, for one, learned so much. There are a few really good, really interesting anthropological components to this story, and the sociology minor in me was thrilled. Grann writes about the isolated Amazon tribes with respect and awe. There's history here, and adventure, there's romance, and heroes, and delightfully disgusting jungle gore. MAGGOTS. IN. YOUR. LEG.

I particularly appreciate Grann's portrait of Fawcett himself - energetic, brave, determined, and flawed. Like the men of The Terror, and perhaps Into Thin Air, and perhaps even A Walk in the Woods, many of us feel the need to conquer nature and get our butts kicked. But Fawcett in particular was able to articulate the itch:

"'Deep down inside me a tiny voice was calling ... at first scarcely audible, it persisted until I could no longer ignore it. It was voice of the wild places, and I knew that it was now part of me forever.'"

He basically Joseph Conrads all over the place:

"'Civilization has a relatively precarious hold upon us and there is an undoubted attraction in a life of absolute freedom once it has been tasted. The 'call o' the wild' is in the blood of many of us and finds its safety valve in adventure.’"

This book, all at once, is relatable, captivating, thrilling, frustrating, and well-written. It is a love letter to mysteries, and to those obsessed with solving them. It is a testament to finding unexpected answers and looking within before judging what's out there.

And also: we should really respect nature. Humans ruin everything.

The Lost City of Z on: Amazon | Goodreads

Review: A Walk in the Woods

5 stars. Recently, I blew up my life. I decided to quit my toxic, incredibly unhealthy job and travel through the end of the year. I just returned from my first trip, and man, has it been worth it so far. Worth it, and also incredibly challenging. But that's partly why I'm doing it - I want to face the anxiety, solve problems on my feet, and power through it.

My supportive partner gifted me this book on my last day of work. I'd never read it, and he knew it'd be appropriate and helpful. I didn't realize it would be so charming, funny, and heartwarming! I've known about Bill Bryson for years (he was a fixture on the coffee table in my childhood home), but for some reason resisted. Now I'm obsessed!

A Walk in the Woods is a sort of single experience memoir, written by an intellectual, hilarious dude who decides to hike the AT. The Appalachian Trail is a subject close to my heart. I'm a Virginian, an introvert, a nature-lover, and possess that singular bit of crazy that makes me want to push myself and do it, knowing it'll suck. Maybe one day. After reading this, CERTAINLY one day. Watch me.

Bill Bryson documents his experience with wit and delight, dropping fascinating tidbits on the history and wildlife in the places he visits. He never shies away from the reality of it all - acknowledges the strangeness of trying to conquer the trail - and identifies the true and natural beauty of this country as a reward.

I particularly enjoyed his descriptions of the meditative rhythm of walking.

"There is no point in hurrying because you are not actually going anywhere. However far or long you plod, you are always in the same place: in the woods. It’s where you were yesterday, where you will be tomorrow. The woods is one boundless singularity. Every bend in the path presents a prospect indistinguishable from every other, every glimpse into the trees the same tangled mass. For all you know, your route could describe a very large, pointless circle. In a way, it would hardly matter."

Sounds like absolute heaven to this burned out girl. I’m so tired of complexity.

I also loved his happiness in experiencing simple pleasures: restaurant food, soda, a shower. "Low-level ecstasy" is my new favorite phrase.

There are a lot of lessons to be drawn from this book, as many have done and will do so a lot more articulately than I. But I think it's important to note that this is an important read, for folks of all ages, of all nationalities - nature lovers, nature haters, hikers, non-hikers, East Coasters and West Coasters and everyone in between. We must protect our planet. We must simplify. We must respect nature. We must revel in it. We must embrace our strange and wonderful instincts to push ourselves through the mud and the rain and the snow even if we don't - especially when we don't - reach our goals. And we must laugh along the way.

A Walk in the Woods on: Amazon | Goodreads

Review: The Run of His Life

5 stars. This is an epically-written, well-researched, carefully thought out narrative retelling of O.J. Simpson's crime, trial and aftermath. Instead of setting out to prove O.J.'s guilt (there's really no need), Toobin takes a deep dive into why he wasn't found so by the court. Beginning with the tragic murders and moving chronologically through the verdict, Toobin successfully navigates the many answers to that question: the sociological factors, including historical and regional context, the power and weirdness of fame and celebrity worship, the flaws of the justice system, the distinct and distinctly damaging personalities involved... and here we truly do have a fascinating constellation of characters caught in O.J.'s orbit.

It's true that Nicole Simpson and Ron Goldman - the victims - typically aren't honored appropriately in any discussion of this crime or case. Ron Goldman, especially, is a virtually absent character in all the news stories, documentaries and trial analysis. And while Toobin could have dedicated plenty of words to Nicole and Ron's lives, rather than their deaths, that's not what this book is about. He does, to the best of his ability, emphasize the terribly sad nature of domestic violence cases, and the totally helpless last few days of Nicole's life. This is what earned the book five stars, for me. His focus? Clear - and not Nicole. But he never dims her light or diminishes her memory. He's respectful.

Beyond that, I couldn't put it down. It's essentially a sort of sociological thriller that should be required reading for lawyers, media moguls, history buffs, true crime buffs, celebrity worshippers, and more. There are twists and turns, jokes, cringeworthy mistakes, clownish characters ... it is high drama in a way only real life can be. Toobin injects a sort of mischievous charm into his words, winking at us and gasping with us when things get weird. And boy, do they.

I was a baby when all this went down, but I grew up in the 90s, and can't remember NOT knowing who O.J. Simpson was. That being said, I always knew him as a murderer. I really enjoyed getting a peek into why his downfall was so shocking and unbelievable for so many - for those who knew him as a star athlete, a golfer, a Hertz spokesperson, an only semi-talented comedic actor. I wish Toobin wrote a sequel, or an additional afterword, tracking Simpson's life after all of this. The continued legal troubles and criminal behavior, the Miami years... Toobin lent such a sharp eye to O.J.'s true character (he rightly paints him as an abusive, semi-literate, materialistic asshole), and I'd love to see him expand on that now.

Holy shit though, can we talk about the trial itself? What a perfect storm of egos and incompetencies. We know that the justice system is an imperfect system because it is a human system, and fuck, this really proves it. How can people be so smart and so dumb? So capable and so arrogant and so intelligent but so un-self-aware? How can people be so ignorant and racist and hopeful and well-intentioned? So brilliant and damaging at the same time?

Back on track: read this book. It's wonderful. It's engaging. It's educational and thrilling and heartbreaking.

The Run of His Life on: Amazon | Goodreads

Review: The Real Lolita

3 stars. I enjoyed reading this, because I'm thirsty for all things Lolita right now. But this book has some issues.

Sarah Weinman writes here what is essentially an extended longread article connecting the kidnapping of Sally Horner to the subject of Nabokov's brilliant and controversial novel Lolita. She frames it almost as an expose - a revelation. Guess what?! She whispers, beckoning us closer: Lolita MAY have been based on a true story! And, upon not getting the reaction she wanted, continues: Nabokov MAY have covered it up! And, even further: Lolita is problematic!

I really appreciate your writing, Sarah, and your dedication to an important and fascinating subject matter. But here's the thing: this book comes across as a smug attempt to pat yourself on the back. So WHAT if Nabokov based his masterpiece on a true story, and covered it up? It's a fantastic footnote! But perhaps not a bombshell. I also think it's safe to say that many of us were not "tricked" into thinking Lolita is a love story, most who think that are not yet mature enough to comprehend the intricacies of the novel.

So perhaps it's not the approach taken here, but the tone. All that being said, the retelling of Sally Horner's story is deftly done, despite a lot of stretching. Sally Horner absolutely deserves attention, and Weinman paints a portrait of the kidnapping and investigation with vivid and appropriate contextual colors. This book overall is very readable, and very thoughtful. I enjoyed the tidbits about Navokov and his writing process. I enjoyed the strengthening of Vera's legacy.

I would recommend this for folks studying Lolita - not, honestly, true crime fans. It makes for a wonderful article and the writing really is quite good. But it doesn't come across as groundbreaking as it tries to.

The Real Lolita on: Amazon | Goodreads

Retro Review: Zodiac

When I started this blog, I had been posting reviews on Goodreads for about 6 months. In the interest of having all of my book writing in one place, I will post one of these old reviews every Friday. They weren't written with a blog in mind, so please forgive the lack of summary and off-the-cuff tone.

4 stars. My reaction to this book: okay, what the actual fuck. 

Truth is stranger than fiction, indeed. 

Fans of true crime will really enjoy (?) this classic book detailing the crimes of the legendary zodiac killer, a man whose identity is still unknown. I could barely put it down despite the anxiety, discomfort and fear I felt while reading. I mean, I had nightmares. 

The story of the zodiac killer is attractive to obsessives, I think, because he exhibits so much obsession himself. The codes, the clues, the patterns, the timeline, the victims … he set out to say something, to send a message, and Robert Graysmith is committed - I mean really, really committed - to discovering the truth. There are so many different ways to examine the case: psychologically, sociologically, emotionally, medically … the murders occurred during an interesting time in American history and Graysmith could’ve easily filled the story with sweeping social observations about the end of an era (similar to the way the Manson murders ushered in the “end of the 60s”). Instead, he sticks to the cold hard facts because, well, they are fascinating. And horrible. 

Don’t read this for prose or plot or academic insight. Read this if, like me, you can’t resist staring into the face of pure evil. 

Zodiac on: Amazon | Goodreads

Review: Sex At Dawn

4 stars. For all my friends desperate to know the correlation between testicle size and mating habits - THIS BOOK IS FOR YOU!!

After years of bouncing around and trying to find my identity as a sexually active adolescent and young adult, I've come to the conclusion that the human brain is too complex to be able to match perfectly with another's for an entire lifetime. There's just no way the perfect puzzle piece - or just one perfect puzzle piece - exists. And I'm happily married. [“Is it so very obvious that you can’t love more than one person?"]

I do sort of buy into the idea of love, and long-term companionship, but for me all that is largely separate from sex. I guess it's no surprise then to admit that I found myself nodding along with a lot of what's said here.

That being said, I'm not totally convinced that everything in this book is true, accurate or factual. I'm not totally convinced it's even objective. My thoughts on monogamy could be attributed to, quite frankly, "commitment issues," or even more likely, confirmation bias. But I think it's good to ask questions about this stuff. Because the world is very big and I refuse to believe my way is the right way - or the only way.

"Could it be that the atomic isolation of the husband-wife nucleus with an orbiting child or two is in fact a culturally imposed aberration for our species—as ill-suited to our evolved tendencies as corsets, chastity belts, and suits of armor? Dare we ask whether mothers, fathers, and children are all being shoe-horned into a family structure that suits none of us? Might the contemporary pandemics of fracturing families, parental exhaustion, and confused, resentful children be predictable consequences of what is, in truth, a distorted and distorting family structure inappropriate for our species?"

I am absolutely fascinated by the subject matter and will be exploring further. The authors make many, many compelling and well-written points tracing our problematic view of human sexuality throughout history. ALL of history. Cavemen included. We get to explore primate behavior, learn about isolated tribes, tackle the concepts of patriarchy and jealousy head on...

"Societies in which women have lots of autonomy and authority tend to be decidedly male-friendly, relaxed, tolerant, and plenty sexy. Got that, fellas? If you’re unhappy at the amount of sexual opportunity in your life, don’t blame the women. Instead, make sure they have equal access to power, wealth, and status. Then watch what happens."

...highlight the inadequacies and prejudices of anthropologists, etc. Actually, one of this book's strongest features, I think, is its ability to explain these inadequacies with valid conclusions about each philosopher, scientist, anthropologist's point of view. Instead of criticizing ignorance, these authors explain it. That was refreshing.

It's also accessible. Definitely academic at times, but concise and to the point and strongly written for those of us not ridiculously educated.

I docked a star because I want more, which is not necessarily a criticism. I found the book to be one-sided, with a primary focus on male traits and behaviors, and I also found it to be somewhat outdated. I would love to see an update that includes an exploration of dating apps, sex work, etc. I would love to see something more inclusive that looks at queer relationships - though not ignored in this study, I think there's a larger place for them here. And I would like to see a look at the darker side of sex - rape, sex crimes, violent fetishes, etc. For both men and women.

Anyway, I suppose I could talk about this for hours. I loved it, although there's a teeny tiny part of me that thinks maybe this was written by a dude looking to provide the world's greatest excuse for cheating. Maybe because my husband's response to the passage about testicles was a delighted "MY BALLS ARE SMART!!" *eye roll*

It's fascinating, though. We've gone wrong in a lot of ways.

Sex At Dawn on: Amazon | Goodreads

Review: The Trial of Lizzie Borden

3 stars. What's fascinating about Lizzie Borden is that there's so much more to the nursery rhyme, but so few answers in the end. The grisly murders captured America's attention, and resulted in one of the fairest, most admirable trials in the history of the justice system. But the crime still, to this day, represents a strange, "locked room" mystery. Those of us starved for the truth will find the details presented here of great interest.

And there are many, many details. This reads like a textbook, and was therefore almost a DNF (I kept falling asleep on the train!); but truthfully I am quite interested in the courtroom drama of it all, and was satisfied by a rewarding finish. I had no idea that Lizzie's story had such a sparkling supportive cast - from the bumbling policemen, charismatic lawyers, thirsty spectators, admirable judges to, of course, the amusing crucial witnesses.

I was not previously aware (naively) of how deeply the sexism of the time permeated the proceedings - Lizzie essentially became, as many defendants do, a tennis ball being racketed back and forth by men trying to outsmart each other. Beyond that, however, I learned that her gender was used by BOTH SIDES to prove her innocence and/or guilt. She's a woman: they're dangerous, wily creatures who have committed the worst crimes in history (!!!) - GUILTY. She's a woman: they're weak, dumb, and don't have the strength to wield an ax (!!!) - NOT GUILTY. I found this to be hilarious and tragic and classic.

But justice prevailed - or did it? I found this book to completely prove that Lizzie is innocent from a legal perspective. Yup, that evidence was circumstantial AF. Yup, the police really screwed some stuff up there. Yup, the prosecution's arguments were underwhelming and desperate. But the justice system is imperfect because it's a human system, and I guess we'll never know what really happened that day in the Borden household.

I couldn't help but compare this to See What I Have Done, which I read fairly recently. I really appreciated Sarah Schmidt's attempt to draw a new picture of the Borden murders, but found it a little tryhard. Still, her sticky, dramatic portrayal of a guilty Lizzie starkly contrasts with the portrayal of an innocent Lizzie in The Trial. The Trial is extensively researched and draws from transcripts, newspaper articles, and more. The illustrations are useful and you really get a feel for what that hot courtroom felt like during the spectacle.

My favorite part was the end - a pithy, beautifully-written coda to an exhausting narrative. I loved reading about the various theories out there, and about the locked up, hidden away defense files. I loved reading about the rest of Lizzie's life, and about her love for Boston Terriers, and her refusal to leave Fall River. Ultimately, I'm into this. I'll always be into Lizzie.

The Trial of Lizzie Borden on: Amazon | Goodreads