Review: One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

2019 CHALLENGE: 1 YOU HAVEN'T READ THAT YET?! PER MONTH 07 / 12

4 stars. A month ago I was cursing my book challenge because I was like three books behind and feeling the pressure. I'm SO glad I pushed myself to keep going. This is exactly why I wanted to do this challenge, because there are so many books out there that I wouldn't necessarily reach for but need to read. And One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest is such a game changer.

This is a story told from the perspective of a patient in a mental institution. He is Native American, schizophrenic, and incredibly observant. (Seriously - this is one of the strongest narrative voices I've ever encountered.) He spends his days cleaning the floors under the watchful eye of the person in charge, a stern and oppressive woman named Nurse Ratched.

One day, there's a break in the monotony: a new patient arrives. To the shock and bewilderment of the patients and the staff, McMurphy is loud, brash, prideful, funny, charming, and determined to bring chaos to the strict order of the hospital. He latches onto Nurse Ratched, and the entire book tracks their spiraling battle toward a (sorry for the cliche) devastating conclusion.

“All I know is this: nobody's very big in the first place, and it looks to me like everybody spends their whole life tearing everybody else down.”

It's not necessarily an easy read, if that makes sense. It feels like something I'd need to read for school. It's thick and abstract and full of allegories and metaphors and triggers the tingly sensation that you're reading something with meaning. It explores huge, giant themes and feels way ahead of its time. It's a grand exploration of sanity, madness, chaos, order, society, power, expectation, repression, rules, rebellion, life, and death. I'm obsessed with the fact that I read this right after reading Fight Club. The two go hand-in-hand.

Other excellent things: each character is distinct and complex and full. Each patient suffers from his own specific ailment and acts accordingly on the page. The narrator undergoes an incredibly satisfying transformation. There's a tremendous sequence involving a jailbreak and an act of piracy. And the writing is incredible, and fair.

One not-so-excellent thing: the racist and misogynist undertones. I'm docking a star in honor of Nurse Ratched's wonderful breasts, which should never have been a defining characteristic of her identity as a villain. There's something really gross about the fact that the only female characters in this book are either completely evil or sex workers.

Still, everyone should read this book. No wonder it's a classic.

One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest on: Amazon | Goodreads

Retro Review: If We Were Villains

When I started this blog, I had been posting reviews on Goodreads for about 6 months. In the interest of having all of my book writing in one place, I will post one of these old reviews every Friday. They weren't written with a blog in mind, so please forgive the lack of summary and off-the-cuff tone.

3 stars. I have mixed feelings about this book. There’s so much Shakespeare, which I absolutely loved. It compares quite adequately to The Secret History and its other lookalikes, which I also loved. It’s fast-paced, well-rounded and well-written. But it isn’t perfect and, I’m sorry to say, I was left unsatisfied. 

First issue - can anyone explain Richard’s escalating behavior in Act I? In my experience, people don’t change quite that dramatically without some sort of catalyst - drug abuse, adult onset bipolar disorder, SOMETHING. From the beginning, Richard felt like a plot device, his tantrums ultimately unexplained. It just didn’t feel natural, to me.

Second issue - one of the fantastic elements of The Secret History is its believability. Donna Tartt took pages and pages and pages to build a sturdy foundation so by the time we get to the murder, it feels like an act within the realm of what we’d expect from our characters. And listen, I’m happy to suspend realism for the sake of a good story. But the fact that six people completely readjusted their moral compasses on exactly the same night after a man demonstrated mentally ill - antagonistic, aggressive, scary, but mentally ill nonetheless - behavior for, what, several weeks? After years of friendship? Does not compute. For me, at least.

Third issue - about ¾ of the way through the book I shut it and whispered “first world problems.” This has been noted in other reviews, but these characters are privileged, ignorant and exhibit totally skewed perspectives. This may be explained by the whole “blame everything on Shakespeare” theme, and I actually buy that, in away. I’m certain that the school formed a bubble in which these people lived and perceived things and made decisions. But it really did seem … beyond dramatic. Melodramatic.

Fourth issue - all of this could’ve been solved had people just slept with whom they were attracted. Yeah, this is all basically just a giant case of romantic self-sabotage. Everybody’s cockblocking each other and using each other for sex and everything could’ve been prevented had the characters been honest with themselves. And look, truthfully, I don’t think I’m looking at this objectively. These people’s approach to courtship and sex and love don’t match my experiences at all. I don’t know anything about anything that transcends lust - transcends love even - enough to believe Oliver’s actions. I guess the characters felt like teenagers saturated with hormones (not unlike Romeo and Juliet?) rather than 20-something college students. 

WAIT, IS THAT THE POINT?! Did I just stumble on the whole damn point? These people spent so much time playing Shakespeare’s exaggerated, overemotional characters that they became exaggerated and overemotional themselves? HMMMM.

Alright, well, I feel bad now. I enjoyed this. I really did. M.L. Rio is incredibly talented and I have a huge crush on her. I want to learn from her - I want to learn how she thinks and what she knows and how she writes. I want to bond with her on things like Shakespeare and drama and Big Themes. But, as always, to thine own self be true, and If We Were Villains just felt a little empty, to me.

If We Were Villains on: Amazon | Goodreads

Review: Fight Club

2019 CHALLENGE: 1 YOU HAVEN'T READ THAT YET?! PER MONTH 06 / 12

5 stars. Fight Club is spoken about with such reverence and now I understand why. I understand why it peppers the millennial landscape. I see why it resonates with readers in such a profoundly powerful way. It literally inspires action.

It takes an entire generation’s scream and segments it into something articulate and corporeal. I’m so deeply impressed and confused and curious. What is this? What did I just read? Why do I feel like someone opened me up, poked around, and sewed me back up wrong?

It’s a short book, and written with a sharp, deadpan voice. Our narrator finds himself at the center of a male-driven cultural movement that begins with little rebellions - tampering with rich people’s food, for example, and secretly beating the shit out of each other in bar basements - and ends with total chaos.

It’s about seeking genuine connection amid the cogs and gears of the machine, it’s about returning to your roots as a human being, and it’s about eradicating the bullshit. It’s about angst, and regret, and restlessness, and masculinity.

I can’t stop thinking about something that has stuck with me over the years: first of all, hi, nice to meet you, my entire education revolved around standardized testing. Later in high school, when I was scheduled to take one the of the mandated exams - the SOLs, the AP test, maybe - I came across a news article about how students across the country were writing “THIS IS SPARTA” in the middle of their essays (this was the late 2000’s and 300 was like The Thing). I loved that idea. Harmless, hilarious, but a way to take back control, if only for one second.

Now it’s REALLY going to stick with me.

I don’t want Flight Club to be prophetic, but it may have already proven itself as such. And honestly, I found myself drawn toward Project Mayhem - nodding along with Tyler’s declarations, eager to know what’s next, feeling more alive with every sentence. It has a very prominent dude smell, which I kind of hate, but it really is incredible.

So, so happy I read this. It’s insane.

Fight Club on: Amazon | Goodreads

Review: Sex At Dawn

4 stars. For all my friends desperate to know the correlation between testicle size and mating habits - THIS BOOK IS FOR YOU!!

After years of bouncing around and trying to find my identity as a sexually active adolescent and young adult, I've come to the conclusion that the human brain is too complex to be able to match perfectly with another's for an entire lifetime. There's just no way the perfect puzzle piece - or just one perfect puzzle piece - exists. And I'm happily married. [“Is it so very obvious that you can’t love more than one person?"]

I do sort of buy into the idea of love, and long-term companionship, but for me all that is largely separate from sex. I guess it's no surprise then to admit that I found myself nodding along with a lot of what's said here.

That being said, I'm not totally convinced that everything in this book is true, accurate or factual. I'm not totally convinced it's even objective. My thoughts on monogamy could be attributed to, quite frankly, "commitment issues," or even more likely, confirmation bias. But I think it's good to ask questions about this stuff. Because the world is very big and I refuse to believe my way is the right way - or the only way.

"Could it be that the atomic isolation of the husband-wife nucleus with an orbiting child or two is in fact a culturally imposed aberration for our species—as ill-suited to our evolved tendencies as corsets, chastity belts, and suits of armor? Dare we ask whether mothers, fathers, and children are all being shoe-horned into a family structure that suits none of us? Might the contemporary pandemics of fracturing families, parental exhaustion, and confused, resentful children be predictable consequences of what is, in truth, a distorted and distorting family structure inappropriate for our species?"

I am absolutely fascinated by the subject matter and will be exploring further. The authors make many, many compelling and well-written points tracing our problematic view of human sexuality throughout history. ALL of history. Cavemen included. We get to explore primate behavior, learn about isolated tribes, tackle the concepts of patriarchy and jealousy head on...

"Societies in which women have lots of autonomy and authority tend to be decidedly male-friendly, relaxed, tolerant, and plenty sexy. Got that, fellas? If you’re unhappy at the amount of sexual opportunity in your life, don’t blame the women. Instead, make sure they have equal access to power, wealth, and status. Then watch what happens."

...highlight the inadequacies and prejudices of anthropologists, etc. Actually, one of this book's strongest features, I think, is its ability to explain these inadequacies with valid conclusions about each philosopher, scientist, anthropologist's point of view. Instead of criticizing ignorance, these authors explain it. That was refreshing.

It's also accessible. Definitely academic at times, but concise and to the point and strongly written for those of us not ridiculously educated.

I docked a star because I want more, which is not necessarily a criticism. I found the book to be one-sided, with a primary focus on male traits and behaviors, and I also found it to be somewhat outdated. I would love to see an update that includes an exploration of dating apps, sex work, etc. I would love to see something more inclusive that looks at queer relationships - though not ignored in this study, I think there's a larger place for them here. And I would like to see a look at the darker side of sex - rape, sex crimes, violent fetishes, etc. For both men and women.

Anyway, I suppose I could talk about this for hours. I loved it, although there's a teeny tiny part of me that thinks maybe this was written by a dude looking to provide the world's greatest excuse for cheating. Maybe because my husband's response to the passage about testicles was a delighted "MY BALLS ARE SMART!!" *eye roll*

It's fascinating, though. We've gone wrong in a lot of ways.

Sex At Dawn on: Amazon | Goodreads

Review: The Return of the King

2019 CHALLENGE: 1 RE-READ PER MONTH 07 / 12

5 stars. I keep recalling the time when someone close to me said that the first time he read the Lord of the Rings, he ended up reading at stoplights. This was when the books were first published. This person is gone, but thinking about that makes me smile.

What a classic, imaginative, incredible, accomplished piece of writing. So much invention. It goes so deep and wide! I love that Tolkien never loses his playful tone. I'm going to make an effort to re-read these more often and more carefully. They're like delicious brain food.

I know this story very well; by heart, even. But I still felt breathless during the battles and nervous before the end. It has a really weird ending, but I loved the Appendices. And the maps. We are so lucky to have this story. I feel honored to have walked side-by-side with these resilient characters.

I mentioned in my review of the first book that I'm aware of the imperfections. There are clearly some issues and as many, many, many have said - the writing style is not for everyone. But I'd recommend this to anyone thirsty for foundation fantasy. It's worth it.

Re-reading these books has also given me a new appreciation for the film adaptations - I had no idea that they pulled so much (so much language, so many direct quotes) from the text. And I also completely support their narrative adjustments and just LOVE THEM EVEN MORE NOW.

I wish I could choose just one passage, or one component, and go crazy. I want to write twenty pages on the Madness of Denethor, thirty on orcs. I want to do a deep dive into Ent lore and how Tolkien aggressively demands respect for trees. I want to pick apart Eowyn's fears and flaws.

These books inspire obsession, so watch out.

On to the next, reluctantly.

The Return of the King on: Amazon | Goodreads

Retro Review: Security

When I started this blog, I had been posting reviews on Goodreads for about 6 months. In the interest of having all of my book writing in one place, I will post one of these old reviews every Friday. They weren't written with a blog in mind, so please forgive the lack of summary and off-the-cuff tone.

3 stars. The grand opening of a state-of-the-art resort approaches, and someone is determined to stop it. In this twisty thriller, readers will witness a gruesome and relentless murder spree through the eyes of the hotel's new and advanced security system - an unusual point of view that lends itself to many surprises.

As someone who has read countless thrillers and can pretty much predict twists and turns chapters before they happen, I found the plot of this book to be very boring. BUT. I really enjoyed the perspective from which this story was told. We don't know anything about our observer until the last quarter of the book, when we can finally piece the clues together and discover the truth. It's weird but intriguing - and by the end, I was more desperate to find out the fate of the observer more than the fate of those he observed throughout the entire book.

It's a fascinating creative exercise. As readers, we must constantly ask ourselves - does appearance fit reality? can we trust our narrator? can we trust our own impressions of what's happening in the story? are we watching things unfold from an unbiased perspective? And here - despite being spoon-fed tiny details about our narrator - we really have no idea. Is he good? Is he bad? Is he even alive? Is he a piece of artificial intelligence? It's all a mystery.

Also fascinating - when characters who are not even remotely admirable have an admirable purpose. Our narrator here (as it turns out) is obsessive and overly protective of the object of his affection - I mean, creepy doesn't even cover it. AND YET. He desires - almost above anything else - to save the object of his affection from a terrifying threat. It's confusing. And interesting. Very unique.

I guess I was a little too caught up in how the story was told over the story itself. I like an unreliable narrator. And in this book, the concept was applied with a great twist. Read for the point of view. It's different.

Security on: Amazon | Goodreads

Review: The Two Towers

2019 CHALLENGE: 1 RE-READ PER MONTH 06 / 12

5 stars. Blindingly wonderful. Honestly, team Samwise all the way. This was his book.

Favorite moments:

1. Treebeard burn:

"He is plotting to become a Power. He has a mind of metal and wheels; and he does not care for growing things, except as far as they serve him for the moment."

2. On feeling out of your depth:

"And here he was a little halfling from the Shire, a simple hobbit of the quiet countryside, expected to find a way where the great ones could not go, or dared not go. It was an evil fate. But he had taken it on himself in his own sitting-room in the far-off spring of another year, so remote now that it was like a chapter in a story of the world’s youth, when the Trees of Silver and Gold were still in bloom. This was an evil choice. Which way should he choose? And if both led to terror and death, what good lay in choice?"

3. On the importance of sleep:

“Sam drew a deep breath. ‘An Oliphaunt it was!’ he said. ‘So there are Oliphaunts, and I have seen one. What a life! But no one at home will ever believe me. Well, if that’s over, I’ll have a bit of sleep.’"

4. Told you this was Sam's book:

"Sam did not wait to wonder what was to be done, or whether he was brave, or loyal, or filled with rage. He sprang forward with a yell, and seized his master’s sword in his left hand. Then he charged. No onslaught more fierce was ever seen in the savage world of beasts, where some desperate small creature armed with little teeth, alone, will spring upon a tower of horn and hide that stands above its fallen mate."

The Two Towers on: Amazon | Goodreads

Retro Review: The Changeling

When I started this blog, I had been posting reviews on Goodreads for about 6 months. In the interest of having all of my book writing in one place, I will post one of these old reviews every Friday. They weren't written with a blog in mind, so please forgive the lack of summary and off-the-cuff tone.

5 stars. I can't stop thinking about this incredible book. Victor LaValle successfully blended his primary ingredients - the essence of ancient folklore, the threat of modern technology, the emotional chaos of parenthood - into a truly intimate and truly intense fairy tale for adults. It is unsetting and disturbing, told at an invigorating pace with an astonishingly matter-of-fact tone.

The plot is simple: Apollo Kagwa, a rare book dealer and new father, must face demons both literal and metaphorical when his wife kills his baby and disappears. His diligent search for answers takes him down a rabbit hole full of ancient traditions, monsters, offerings, and threats both human and supernatural.

It is ridiculously compelling. There is social commentary and satire and humor and a dramatic climax. The twists and turns aren't exactly unpredictable but they provoke bone-deep shock anyway. LaValle's writing is simple but peppered with meta bombs like, "A bad fairy tale has some simple goddamn moral. A great fairy tale tells the truth." And later, related: "Even if you choose to ignore the truth, the truth still changes you." I admired the moments that felt so reminiscent of fairy tales - I found myself leaning forward, eyes glued to the page, as though listening and waiting and hoping for the "happily ever after."

The book examines huge themes such as racism, fatherhood, technology, greed, loss. LaValle had an agenda, a message, and he cloaked it admirably in horror. Each reader will no doubt draw something different from the complex undertones. To me, I would say, the biggest one, the one I inhaled and absorbed, was this: listen to women. Please, please, please listen to women.

And maybe put a piece of electrical tape over your laptop's camera.

The Changeling on: Amazon | Goodreads

Retro Review: Girl Through Glass

When I started this blog, I had been posting reviews on Goodreads for about 6 months. In the interest of having all of my book writing in one place, I will post one of these old reviews every Friday. They weren't written with a blog in mind, so please forgive the lack of summary and off-the-cuff tone.

New York, summer of 1977. A young girl is accepted into the School of American Ballet and relishes the pressure it offers as an escape from her complicated family life. In the present day, a professor attempts to navigate her current life upon receiving a letter from the past.

I really liked this book. Here's why:

It was written carefully, as though every word was mulled over three times before being chosen. I think it really shows when an author puts so much effort into creating language that flows. It's impressive. It shows a commitment to the reader, and an appreciation for the aesthetics of a novel. 

It demonstrates consistent tone, sophisticated vocabulary, convincing imagery, reasonable characterizations, and a balanced plot. There's nothing more dissatisfying than a poorly-crafted story. Books can have interesting plots and boring characters, or fantastic writing and sloppy plot construction. Luckily, this book is well-balanced.

It sends a genuine message without being preachy. Somewhere between the lines there is a cautionary tale here. It's not obvious, it's not in your face (this is my interpretation - I'm sure others thought it openly glared). Yes, there is an agenda, but the author allows the story to speak for itself.

It captures a complicated aspect of life to which I can relate. I don't think it's a coincidence that Mira went into academia. Just because she stopped dancing doesn't mean she lost her quest for recognition, perfection, etc. The anxiety and effort that goes into being the best - there's nothing like it, and she went from one obsessive, competitive field to another. This book contains the most accurate portrayal of this type of competition that I've encountered. It's eerily correct in its descriptions.

This is not a happy book, but it's a fascinating one. It's dark and very thought-provoking.

Girl Through Glass on: Amazon | Goodreads

Review: The Fellowship of the Ring

2019 CHALLENGE: 1 RE-READ PER MONTH 05 / 12

5 stars. Simply. Perfect. I don't think I can write a review of this. It's too challenging to communicate how lucky I feel visiting Middle Earth again.

Favorite moments:

1. The Black Rider sniffing for the ring. What a badass detail.

"The riding figure sat quite still with its head bowed, as if listening. From inside the hood came a noise as of someone sniffing to catch an elusive scent; the head turned from side to side of the road."

2. Tom Bombadil.

"He then told them many remarkable stories, sometimes half as if speaking to himself, sometimes looking at them suddenly with a bright blue eye under his deep brows. Often his voice would turn to song, and he would get out of his chair and dance about. He told them tales of bees and flowers, the ways of trees, and the strange creatures of the Forest, about the evil things and good things, things friendly and things unfriendly, cruel things and kind things, and secrets hidden under brambles."

3. Reading this and picturing the scariest movie moment of my childhood.

"To his distress and amazement he found that he was no longer looking at Bilbo; a shadow seemed to have fallen between them, and through it he found himself eyeing a little wrinkled creature with a hungry face and bony groping hands. He felt a desire to strike him."

4. Lothlorien.

“As soon as he set foot upon the far bank of Silverlode a strange feeling had come upon him, and it deepened as he walked on into the Naith: it seemed to him that he had stepped over a bridge of time into a corner of the Elder Days, and was now walking in a world that was no more. In Rivendell there was memory of ancient things; in Lórien the ancient things still lived on in the waking world. Evil had been seen and heard there, sorrow had been known; the Elves feared and distrusted the world outside: wolves were howling on the wood’s borders: but on the land of Lórien no shadow lay."

5. When Boromir tries to take the ring and it feels shocking and inevitable at the same time.

"‘Ah! The Ring!’ said Boromir, his eyes lighting. ‘The Ring! Is it not a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt for so small a thing?"

So good.

Per internet tradition, it seems that this book is a bit polarizing and people either love it or hate it (like ... to the death). I acknowledge that the writing is dull in places; that the black-and-white depiction of good versus evil is problematic; that there are sexist undertones; that the worldbuilding occasionally hurtles beyond playful into pretentious territory; etc etc. I recognize its flaws but feel as though its merits outweigh them.

All that stuff aside, I don't know what took me so long to pick up these books again. The escape offered here is of immeasurable value, to me. I want to crawl into the world of these words and curl up there forever.

The Fellowship of the Ring on: Amazon | Goodreads