Review: Lolita

2019 CHALLENGE: 1 YOU HAVEN'T READ THAT YET?! PER MONTH 08 / 12

5 stars. I feel like my whole life I've been hearing about what this book is - what it is, what it isn't, why it's genius, why it's criminal, why it's controversial. And now I can absolutely understand the urge to pick it apart, word for word; it certainly inspired a bit of obsession in me. I'm super unsurprised that readers and writers everywhere blindly grasp at Lolita's coattails trying to feel, at least, genius-adjacent.

So here's what Lolita is, for me: a profound, brilliantly-written profile of a rapist and his horrendous crimes. It's unlike anything I've ever read. And it's a captivating read.

[And because the world is ridiculous, I feel like I also have to spell out what Lolita isn't, for me: a tragic romance depicting forbidden love. I'm actually shocked it has been interpreted this way. Not once - not for a single sentence - did I experience any sympathy for the narrator. Not once did I consider Lolita seductive or complicit or consenting. Probably because I read this at an older age, and/or because I'm an ice cold unromantic, but also because, as we can define more easily now, there are many different types of rape, and rapists, and nonconsensual situations.]

The writing in Lolita is just so ... unexpected. The word choice. The dialogue. The completely distinct voices. It exceeded my very high expectations. I feel fulfilled. I feel like opening it up to page 1 and starting over. I feel like opening it up to a random page and dissecting a random paragraph. There are images here that will stick with me forever. I'm gushing and obnoxious and I know everyone already knows how great it is but I just loved it.

There is a thread of a fascinating theme here that I think is left unexplored sometimes: people, naturally, can't really be cleanly categorized into good and evil. There are certain extreme acts of great generosity or great harm that can put an individual in either, but for the most part, good people are quite capable of bad things, and criminals are quite capable of good things. I AM NOT EXCUSING A RAPIST, I'm trying to point out that Nabokov painted Humbert Humbert as a layered monster. Peeking into his brain is just so damn interesting. Lolita explores his inner nature ("He is horrible, he is abject, he is a shining example of moral leprosy...") with utter delight.

I think I'm going to read this again. Soon. It’s absolutely gorgeous.

Lolita on: Amazon | Goodreads

Retro Review: Lincoln in the Bardo

When I started this blog, I had been posting reviews on Goodreads for about 6 months. In the interest of having all of my book writing in one place, I will post one of these old reviews every Friday. They weren't written with a blog in mind, so please forgive the lack of summary and off-the-cuff tone.

5 stars. Hmmm. Interesting. Amusing. When I shut the cover I found myself saying, “....okay, Lincoln in the Bardo, if you say so.” It’s that kind of book. Creative, of course. Innovative, even. Strong in style and originality. Funny, really funny. 

I would say, though, that the whole thing felt kind of like a … graduate course exercise? Or an amateur experiment? It’s difficult to articulate my discomfort with the enormous amount of praise this book has received. 

It is certainly something new. And I must commend Saunders for shedding a new light on one of the most studied, read-about, written-about figures in history.

Okay - update - it’s been about a month since I finished this book and I can’t stop thinking about it, or raving about it to my friends. Apparently, I loved it. I think I’m attracted to the risky nature of the writing - I mean, this is a ballsy book. I’m baffled by how Saunders mixed the funny, the odd, and the painful and got such an engaging story. This whole thing is just a giant “....what? ….how?” for me. 

In a good way, I think.

Lincoln in the Bardo on: Amazon | Goodreads

Review: Fight Club

2019 CHALLENGE: 1 YOU HAVEN'T READ THAT YET?! PER MONTH 06 / 12

5 stars. Fight Club is spoken about with such reverence and now I understand why. I understand why it peppers the millennial landscape. I see why it resonates with readers in such a profoundly powerful way. It literally inspires action.

It takes an entire generation’s scream and segments it into something articulate and corporeal. I’m so deeply impressed and confused and curious. What is this? What did I just read? Why do I feel like someone opened me up, poked around, and sewed me back up wrong?

It’s a short book, and written with a sharp, deadpan voice. Our narrator finds himself at the center of a male-driven cultural movement that begins with little rebellions - tampering with rich people’s food, for example, and secretly beating the shit out of each other in bar basements - and ends with total chaos.

It’s about seeking genuine connection amid the cogs and gears of the machine, it’s about returning to your roots as a human being, and it’s about eradicating the bullshit. It’s about angst, and regret, and restlessness, and masculinity.

I can’t stop thinking about something that has stuck with me over the years: first of all, hi, nice to meet you, my entire education revolved around standardized testing. Later in high school, when I was scheduled to take one the of the mandated exams - the SOLs, the AP test, maybe - I came across a news article about how students across the country were writing “THIS IS SPARTA” in the middle of their essays (this was the late 2000’s and 300 was like The Thing). I loved that idea. Harmless, hilarious, but a way to take back control, if only for one second.

Now it’s REALLY going to stick with me.

I don’t want Flight Club to be prophetic, but it may have already proven itself as such. And honestly, I found myself drawn toward Project Mayhem - nodding along with Tyler’s declarations, eager to know what’s next, feeling more alive with every sentence. It has a very prominent dude smell, which I kind of hate, but it really is incredible.

So, so happy I read this. It’s insane.

Fight Club on: Amazon | Goodreads

Review: The Return of the King

2019 CHALLENGE: 1 RE-READ PER MONTH 07 / 12

5 stars. I keep recalling the time when someone close to me said that the first time he read the Lord of the Rings, he ended up reading at stoplights. This was when the books were first published. This person is gone, but thinking about that makes me smile.

What a classic, imaginative, incredible, accomplished piece of writing. So much invention. It goes so deep and wide! I love that Tolkien never loses his playful tone. I'm going to make an effort to re-read these more often and more carefully. They're like delicious brain food.

I know this story very well; by heart, even. But I still felt breathless during the battles and nervous before the end. It has a really weird ending, but I loved the Appendices. And the maps. We are so lucky to have this story. I feel honored to have walked side-by-side with these resilient characters.

I mentioned in my review of the first book that I'm aware of the imperfections. There are clearly some issues and as many, many, many have said - the writing style is not for everyone. But I'd recommend this to anyone thirsty for foundation fantasy. It's worth it.

Re-reading these books has also given me a new appreciation for the film adaptations - I had no idea that they pulled so much (so much language, so many direct quotes) from the text. And I also completely support their narrative adjustments and just LOVE THEM EVEN MORE NOW.

I wish I could choose just one passage, or one component, and go crazy. I want to write twenty pages on the Madness of Denethor, thirty on orcs. I want to do a deep dive into Ent lore and how Tolkien aggressively demands respect for trees. I want to pick apart Eowyn's fears and flaws.

These books inspire obsession, so watch out.

On to the next, reluctantly.

The Return of the King on: Amazon | Goodreads

Review: The Two Towers

2019 CHALLENGE: 1 RE-READ PER MONTH 06 / 12

5 stars. Blindingly wonderful. Honestly, team Samwise all the way. This was his book.

Favorite moments:

1. Treebeard burn:

"He is plotting to become a Power. He has a mind of metal and wheels; and he does not care for growing things, except as far as they serve him for the moment."

2. On feeling out of your depth:

"And here he was a little halfling from the Shire, a simple hobbit of the quiet countryside, expected to find a way where the great ones could not go, or dared not go. It was an evil fate. But he had taken it on himself in his own sitting-room in the far-off spring of another year, so remote now that it was like a chapter in a story of the world’s youth, when the Trees of Silver and Gold were still in bloom. This was an evil choice. Which way should he choose? And if both led to terror and death, what good lay in choice?"

3. On the importance of sleep:

“Sam drew a deep breath. ‘An Oliphaunt it was!’ he said. ‘So there are Oliphaunts, and I have seen one. What a life! But no one at home will ever believe me. Well, if that’s over, I’ll have a bit of sleep.’"

4. Told you this was Sam's book:

"Sam did not wait to wonder what was to be done, or whether he was brave, or loyal, or filled with rage. He sprang forward with a yell, and seized his master’s sword in his left hand. Then he charged. No onslaught more fierce was ever seen in the savage world of beasts, where some desperate small creature armed with little teeth, alone, will spring upon a tower of horn and hide that stands above its fallen mate."

The Two Towers on: Amazon | Goodreads

Retro Review: The Changeling

When I started this blog, I had been posting reviews on Goodreads for about 6 months. In the interest of having all of my book writing in one place, I will post one of these old reviews every Friday. They weren't written with a blog in mind, so please forgive the lack of summary and off-the-cuff tone.

5 stars. I can't stop thinking about this incredible book. Victor LaValle successfully blended his primary ingredients - the essence of ancient folklore, the threat of modern technology, the emotional chaos of parenthood - into a truly intimate and truly intense fairy tale for adults. It is unsetting and disturbing, told at an invigorating pace with an astonishingly matter-of-fact tone.

The plot is simple: Apollo Kagwa, a rare book dealer and new father, must face demons both literal and metaphorical when his wife kills his baby and disappears. His diligent search for answers takes him down a rabbit hole full of ancient traditions, monsters, offerings, and threats both human and supernatural.

It is ridiculously compelling. There is social commentary and satire and humor and a dramatic climax. The twists and turns aren't exactly unpredictable but they provoke bone-deep shock anyway. LaValle's writing is simple but peppered with meta bombs like, "A bad fairy tale has some simple goddamn moral. A great fairy tale tells the truth." And later, related: "Even if you choose to ignore the truth, the truth still changes you." I admired the moments that felt so reminiscent of fairy tales - I found myself leaning forward, eyes glued to the page, as though listening and waiting and hoping for the "happily ever after."

The book examines huge themes such as racism, fatherhood, technology, greed, loss. LaValle had an agenda, a message, and he cloaked it admirably in horror. Each reader will no doubt draw something different from the complex undertones. To me, I would say, the biggest one, the one I inhaled and absorbed, was this: listen to women. Please, please, please listen to women.

And maybe put a piece of electrical tape over your laptop's camera.

The Changeling on: Amazon | Goodreads

Retro Review: Girl Through Glass

When I started this blog, I had been posting reviews on Goodreads for about 6 months. In the interest of having all of my book writing in one place, I will post one of these old reviews every Friday. They weren't written with a blog in mind, so please forgive the lack of summary and off-the-cuff tone.

New York, summer of 1977. A young girl is accepted into the School of American Ballet and relishes the pressure it offers as an escape from her complicated family life. In the present day, a professor attempts to navigate her current life upon receiving a letter from the past.

I really liked this book. Here's why:

It was written carefully, as though every word was mulled over three times before being chosen. I think it really shows when an author puts so much effort into creating language that flows. It's impressive. It shows a commitment to the reader, and an appreciation for the aesthetics of a novel. 

It demonstrates consistent tone, sophisticated vocabulary, convincing imagery, reasonable characterizations, and a balanced plot. There's nothing more dissatisfying than a poorly-crafted story. Books can have interesting plots and boring characters, or fantastic writing and sloppy plot construction. Luckily, this book is well-balanced.

It sends a genuine message without being preachy. Somewhere between the lines there is a cautionary tale here. It's not obvious, it's not in your face (this is my interpretation - I'm sure others thought it openly glared). Yes, there is an agenda, but the author allows the story to speak for itself.

It captures a complicated aspect of life to which I can relate. I don't think it's a coincidence that Mira went into academia. Just because she stopped dancing doesn't mean she lost her quest for recognition, perfection, etc. The anxiety and effort that goes into being the best - there's nothing like it, and she went from one obsessive, competitive field to another. This book contains the most accurate portrayal of this type of competition that I've encountered. It's eerily correct in its descriptions.

This is not a happy book, but it's a fascinating one. It's dark and very thought-provoking.

Girl Through Glass on: Amazon | Goodreads

Review: The Fellowship of the Ring

2019 CHALLENGE: 1 RE-READ PER MONTH 05 / 12

5 stars. Simply. Perfect. I don't think I can write a review of this. It's too challenging to communicate how lucky I feel visiting Middle Earth again.

Favorite moments:

1. The Black Rider sniffing for the ring. What a badass detail.

"The riding figure sat quite still with its head bowed, as if listening. From inside the hood came a noise as of someone sniffing to catch an elusive scent; the head turned from side to side of the road."

2. Tom Bombadil.

"He then told them many remarkable stories, sometimes half as if speaking to himself, sometimes looking at them suddenly with a bright blue eye under his deep brows. Often his voice would turn to song, and he would get out of his chair and dance about. He told them tales of bees and flowers, the ways of trees, and the strange creatures of the Forest, about the evil things and good things, things friendly and things unfriendly, cruel things and kind things, and secrets hidden under brambles."

3. Reading this and picturing the scariest movie moment of my childhood.

"To his distress and amazement he found that he was no longer looking at Bilbo; a shadow seemed to have fallen between them, and through it he found himself eyeing a little wrinkled creature with a hungry face and bony groping hands. He felt a desire to strike him."

4. Lothlorien.

“As soon as he set foot upon the far bank of Silverlode a strange feeling had come upon him, and it deepened as he walked on into the Naith: it seemed to him that he had stepped over a bridge of time into a corner of the Elder Days, and was now walking in a world that was no more. In Rivendell there was memory of ancient things; in Lórien the ancient things still lived on in the waking world. Evil had been seen and heard there, sorrow had been known; the Elves feared and distrusted the world outside: wolves were howling on the wood’s borders: but on the land of Lórien no shadow lay."

5. When Boromir tries to take the ring and it feels shocking and inevitable at the same time.

"‘Ah! The Ring!’ said Boromir, his eyes lighting. ‘The Ring! Is it not a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt for so small a thing?"

So good.

Per internet tradition, it seems that this book is a bit polarizing and people either love it or hate it (like ... to the death). I acknowledge that the writing is dull in places; that the black-and-white depiction of good versus evil is problematic; that there are sexist undertones; that the worldbuilding occasionally hurtles beyond playful into pretentious territory; etc etc. I recognize its flaws but feel as though its merits outweigh them.

All that stuff aside, I don't know what took me so long to pick up these books again. The escape offered here is of immeasurable value, to me. I want to crawl into the world of these words and curl up there forever.

The Fellowship of the Ring on: Amazon | Goodreads

Retro Review: Maestra

When I started this blog, I had been posting reviews on Goodreads for about 6 months. In the interest of having all of my book writing in one place, I will post one of these old reviews every Friday. They weren't written with a blog in mind, so please forgive the lack of summary and off-the-cuff tone.

5 stars. So, Maestra tells the story of Judith Rashleigh, art expert and expert murderess. She spends her days toiling away as a junior employee at an art house and her nights at a creepy hostess bar being paid to satisfy customers with her company. Upon discovering her shady boss’ shady fraud scheme, Judith goes on a rampage of sorts - a sweaty spree hopping from country to country leaving dead bodies and fake names in her wake. It’s wonderful and sneaky and fun. Maestra is zesty! It is zesty Italian with extra zing. The pace, the drama, the bloodshed, the sex - delightful - the most enjoyable reading experience I’ve had in a long time.

It certainly isn’t perfect; Judith displays some incredibly contradictory personality traits. It’s absolutely, one hundred percent unrealistic. It’s superficial. Still, there is strong writing in the “art parts,” which I found enjoyable and an interesting distraction from the somewhat rompy plot. 

Speaking of, I hope people weren’t too shocked. I didn’t find it that shocking, I just found it … open in ways other books aren’t. It’s constantly like, yeah, let’s go there, let’s open this door. I respect that. I admire it. It’s irresistible. I don’t know if it is feminist in the traditional sense of the word (though I hesitate to put parameters on that word), but it certainly expands upon a favorite topic of mine: complex, sexually aggressive women. More of that, please.

I can see the comparisons to Tom Ripley and Vicky Sharpe, but honestly, Judith feels like her own new thing. Is it wrong to say I relate to her? That I enjoyed watching her succeed? She channels that massive chip on her shoulder into getting exactly what she wants whatever the cost. It’s kind of impressive.

Maestra isn’t particularly profound, but it is profoundly entertaining. I can’t wait to read more, if for nothing else than the author’s expertise on a subject I love. Many individuals in the art world are - to quote a colleague of mine who spent years in the gallery business - “snooty,” and Hilton completely challenges that notion by creating a female character who is not only badass but also super, super emotionally into art. I loved it.

Maestra on: Amazon | Goodreads

Review: Carrie

5 stars. I can't believe it's taken me so long to read this King - out of all the Kings - but I'm making my way through his repertoire at a slow pace so I can savor his books. Obviously, Carrie is amazing, and I loved it. I read it in one day and the whole time I was just like, yup, classic.

Carrie, of course, is about a teenage girl named Carrie White (the names in this book are really interesting), struggling under the terrifying influence of her intensely religious mother. Bullied and basically ignorant, Carrie attempts to grow and navigate puberty while harboring a remarkable and powerful secret skill. After being targeted by a cruel plot, she goes on an explosive and bloody rampage marking the town forever.

I think it's fairly well-known that this was King's first published novel (the fourth he'd written), and it's full of hints of what's to come. (TBH, I was looking for the hints because I'm obsessed with patterns and recurring motifs.) He plays around with themes he'd continue to explore for the duration of his career; small towns, masculinity, femininity, obsession, religious mania, youth, innocence, sexual awakening, sexual repression, bullying, etc.; in a deft and experimental way that's frankly really genius.

It occurred to me, as I turned the pages of a scene in which a 16-year-old girl gets her period for the first time in a high school locker room and is immediately mocked and pelted with pads and tampons, that King took something very preposterous and made it seem very reasonable and realistic. His attempt to capture the female psyche is so vivid and painful - maybe not right, exactly, but it's very vivid.

Along those lines, I won't attempt to poke at some of the feminist and religious messages in Carrie, but I didn't read this looking for that sort of thing. Carrie is just plain weird, and fascinating, and fun, and funky, and disturbing. It doesn't go quite as deep or as wide as some of his others, but it's distinctly King-ish and worth a read.

I've written before about how reading King is kind of a magical experience: you're like WTF is going on, but you can't stop or look away, and finishing is hugely satisfying until you kind of sit back and think about it and go WTF did I just read?! But that's part of the charm and what makes him so impressive. It's why I keep coming back for more.

Carrie on: Amazon | Goodreads