Review: Chasing the Boogeyman

3 stars. Interesting! I'm not sure I would call this horror, exactly, or even a thriller... it's more like a uniquely formatted memoir/mystery. I've never read anything by Richard Chizmar before, but 10 pages in I was like ... okay, this guy loves Stephen King. And Ray Bradbury. Sure enough, he references and admires both loudly. I think that's awesome, and those authors are the absolute masters, but I wish horror authors would channel someone else every now and then, lol. It was just so obvious.

Chasing the Boogeyman is a fictional story written as though it is a new edition of a non-fiction true crime book "originally published" in the 90s about a series of murders that "take place" n the 80s. The setting, and even some of the characters, are real. The killings/circumstances are not, but that doesn't matter. It's still a strong narrative and a real pageturner. I read it in one day. Think I'll Be Gone in the Dark.

Unfortunately this didn't... really meet my expectations. It read like a slightly more elevated creepypasta, like something you'd find on r/nosleep, which isn't a bad thing, it just didn't blow me out of the water. I can't relate to the deep nostalgia Richard Chizmar felt for his childhood and adolescence, not just because I didn't grow up in a small town, but because I wasn't as, well, privileged. Bradbury admittedly looks back at the 50s with rose-tinted glasses, but at least he chose to express a profound sense of humility and gratitude over a sort of feaux-aw shucks attitude and melodramatic posturing about growing up.

Eesh, that sounds really harsh. I'm sorry! This is one of the highest rated horror books of the year, and probably deserves it for the creativity of the premise alone. The chapters about the murders were well-written - although I PICKED OUT THE KILLER ALMOST IMMEDIATELY! Why does my brain do that! I was so bummed when I found out I had been right ... I was really hoping for a better twist.

I'd better stop before I complain this into oblivion. Listen, I recommend it. I liked it! I'd like to read more by Chizmar. It's perfect for fans of King and Bradbury and true crime books. It has clever moments. I loved the pictures, as staged as they looked haha. The blending of the real and the fictional is very well done. It just didn't ... you know, thrill me.

Chasing the Boogeyman on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads

Review: The Death of Jane Lawrence

5 stars. By far one of my most exciting reads of 2021; Caitlin Starling is officially on my radar as an incredibly innovative horror author and I can't wait to read her other work. My expectations were absolutely shattered - the thing is, everyone tries to do Rebecca. Everyone. But no one can quite get there, because Rebecca is Rebecca and that's what makes it so great. Starling knows this, so she takes the basics and slams them into a messy pulp, mixes in a touch of Vita Nostra, and pops a magical cherry on top.

The Death of Jane Lawrence opens with our logical Jane determined to pursue a marriage of convenience with doctor Augustine Lawrence. She's run the numbers (literally), and figures that he is the perfect candidate for a mutually beneficial arrangement... to be husband and wife but only in name. And then Jane meets the good doctor, and encounters a deep attraction that wobbles her carefully crafted existence. Quickly Jane discovers that desire cannot be measured, or predicted, or controlled.

Even more mysterious is Dr. Lawrence's rules: he must spend every night at his manor without her. It suits Jane just fine until an unhappy accident lands her with no other option than to join him for a night. But she finds the manor to be a woeful and neglected place, not to mention her new husband's frantic paranoid reaction to her presence there. Normally I'd stop the synopsis with that, but I'll include: as Jane attempts to navigate her new marriage under such dark circumstances, she encounters an arrogant group of doctor/magicians, a new metaphysical philosophy, impossible hauntings and terrible ghosts and a quest that takes her to the most extraordinary limits of her mind, body and soul.

A big part of my strong reaction to this book has to do with how refreshingly unpredictable it is. My heart was pounding by the time I reached the final pages. Usually I can see where things are going, you know? As a frequent reader of gothic horror it can be easy to see where twists and turns typically lead. BUT NOT THIS TIME. Nope, get ready for a wild, mind-bending, thrilling, weird ride. I absolutely loved it. What could've been heavy with tropes absolutely flew out of this world and into another.

I also loved Jane. Of course she's annoying, especially in the beginning - normally I hate characters who poke their nose where it doesn't belong. But the more I read the more I realized that Jane is a perfectly formed character who is perfectly suited to this particular journey. A lot of reviewers harped on the fact that she grew so obsessed/dedicated to a man she had basically just met - and I agree, that's a bit of a stretch. But to me it's a narrative way to demonstrate how Jane's world both narrows and expands at the same time. She prefers a controlled, logical existence, but she is drawn to the strange fire she feels for Augustine; he is an opportunity for her... plus, she's stubborn AF. Jane isn't really the type to just let things go, you know?

I wanted more, but I really appreciate the lingering questions. I can't wait to re-read this one again and again. (The writing, the flow of the words, is also really beautiful.) I cannot emphasize enough: The Death of Jane Lawrence is so much fun.

Further reading:

Vita Nostra
Jane Eyre
Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell
Rebecca
, LOL

The Death of Jane Lawrence on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads

Review: Empire of the Vampire

3 stars. Hmmmmmmm.

First of all - wow, I'm surprised this book hasn't gone totally viral on TikTok, because it is a MOOD, a VIBE, and an AESTHETIC all rolled into one. This is going to sound like a very weird observation, but I think this story would've been better as ....... a video game. The quest/D&D vibes, the visuals, the delightful side characters all sort of give off a game flavor, or something. It's also incredibly long, and it requires an active eye and an active brain because there are many details in this world that for whatever reason would not stick for me. Certain names, for example, and aspects of the conflict (the bloodlines, the various rulers, etc.). The sheer amount of scrolling back I did was unprecedented. But I stuck with it. I couldn't resist.

And yet... sigh. It was okay. A couple of things just weren't to my preference, like the non-chronological narrative. I prefer, like the protagonist's captor, for stories to be told in order. And a lot of the exposition was only thinly veiled by the aforementioned captor's requests that our narrator "explain things to him as though talking to a child." AKA, for the reader. Real subtle, there. I also tend to be a bit quick to reject stories that involve, like, the one true epic love (unless I'm reading romance, of course). This bothered me in The Name of the Wind, which is a clear and blatant influence on Empire of the Vampire.

Speaking of influences: there's so much. From Stephen King (if a character hovers at a window and says "let me in," my brain is going straight to 'Salem's Lot) to LOTR (SO MUCH LOTR... the ringbearer-I-mean-Dior should decide, the "no man can kill me" thing, references to riddle games, so much more) to HP (nice to visit the forbidden section of a library again) to the Witcher books to ASOIAF to True Blood to The Da Vinci Code to even like...the Southern Reach Trilogy and The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco (plus the more overt ones like Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles), I could detect references and borrowed elements around every corner. It's kind of fun, actually. This book knows its ancestors and pays tribute accordingly, if not a little obviously.

I will say: it took an incredibly talented, smart, dedicated, rock star of a writer to craft this story. Next to other high fantasies, the worldbuilding is there. The tropes are there, applied adorably and with delight. But where the writing is very beautiful and the the themes compelling, there's something a little ... immature about this book. One reviewer stated that the characters seem like "caricatures designed for specific fandoms," and I could not agree more. Listen, Mr. Kristoff is a very famous, successful author with a passionate following, and I wouldn't blame if he... used what he's figured out works, if that makes sense.

I've heard other reviewers call this book out for male posturing, or criticize the swearing/bawdy humor. Maybe that's part of what I felt was immature, although typically I don't find that sort of thing offensive or bothersome (although a couple of the period jokes made me pause). I would also say that perhaps there are some pacing issues. Perhaps with plotting, as well. Again, the flashback-flashforward storytelling device is NOT my favorite, but in this case I think I can objectively say it weakened the flow a bit.

I don't know if I'll read the next one. To be honest, I spent a lot of this book miserable alongside the characters. There are victories, to be sure, and warm moments, I suppose, but the story in this book primarily involves loss - or the anticipation of loss. The dread of loss. Loss of innocence, faith, love, loved ones. Things going wrong, over and over and over again. I don't know if I'd want to put myself through that again. Oh, and trigger warning: animal death. I'd dock a star for that regardless.

I have the utmost respect for Jay Kristoff and his success is well-deserved. He's such a talented writer and I love that people love this book. I'm just not one of them, today.

The illustrations get 5 stars.

Empire of the Vampire on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads

Review: My Heart Is a Chainsaw

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5 stars. Every time I finish a SGJ book I gasp. Then I cackle loudly in utter delight like an evil villain. His are the books that leave me unquestionably, thoroughly, deeply (and disturbingly?) satisfied. He's so, so, so, so, smart when it comes to writing these dark, heartfelt tributes to the horror genre and this one has to be up there in terms of my personal favorites. Jade has a fantastic voice and I really felt - and rooted - for her, in all her fierce and colorful glory. There's something so beautiful and emotional and touching about this story, something I recognize now as distinctly SGJ. It surprised me in The Only Good Indians, but I dove in ready here. Fucking legendary, mate.

My Heart is a Chainsaw... well, let's see. It's about a girl named Jade, failed and forgotten and feisty and a huge fan of horror. Slashers, specifically. They give her comfort and offer an escape from her small town life of poverty, betrayal and hardship. She's lonely, with only Michael and Jason and Freddy to keep her company. She uses the narratives and tropes she knows and loves so well to frame her own world and narrate her life, much to the amusement and judgment of her teachers, family and local law enforcement. She's seen an outcast. A loner. A weirdo.

But then something starts happening in her town. Suspicious deaths. Blood in the water. And Jade starts to sense that her love of slashers, her knowledge of the rules and the twists and turns, have landed her in a uniquely suited position to actually deal with one that is actually happening in front of her. All the ingredients have landed: the final girl, the red herrings, the blood sacrifice - now it's up to Jade to nudge things along. And nudge she does, till we hit one of the most electrifying, gruesome, heart wrenching third acts I've ever read.

SGJ understands why the father and son dinner table scene is so crucial in Jaws. My Heart is a Chainsaw is an incredibly graphic slasher, with terrible monsters and even worse humans. And there's as much deep emotional agony as there is gore. It's a scary book, but at its center there's a pulsing human heart, an unapologetically fierce Final Girl (whether she wants the label or not) who desires connection and acceptance. Under all the creative kills, the bloody backstories, and the twists and turns, Jade makes us care, and care strongly.

Even the more superficial elements are not to be ignored. SGJ absolutely saturates this novel with slasher film references, which was super, super fun for me. I've spoken before about how I'm not just someone who enjoys consuming horror; I also like reading/learning about horror, so this kind of felt like the perfect marriage between... I don't know, Stephen King and the In Search of Darkness movies on Shudder. This is my language, okay?! But he also takes a lot of the tropes and makes them sort of gorgeous and surprising again, meaning this work of metafiction is not just clever but also rich and vivid and infused with warmth. THAT ENDING.

Alright, I'm off to daydream about canoes and black cloaks in bathroom stalls and machetes. As one does.

My Heart is a Chainsaw on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads

Review: The Book of Accidents

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5 stars. RIGHT. I've never written a review this drunk before, for various reasons. But for other various reasons, I had to delay writing this one a bit and want to make sure I get some things down before the book fades away into the void (no not like that void, just like... the void). OMFG so, I loved this book. I kind of hated big time on Wanderers for being compared to Stephen King when I just didn't feel it, and I'm pretty sure Chuck Wendig read that and got annoyed and then promptly sat down and wrote The Book of Accidents just to personally prove me wrong. WELL, IT WORKED. This read and sounded and felt like a Stephen King book.

Okay so The Book of Accidents: when his abusive father dies, Nate Graves is determined to cut any lingering connection with the man and move on with his life. But when he finds out his father left him his house - essentially for free - Nate and his wife Maddie decide it might be a nice change for them to move there with their son Oliver, who is especially sensitive to other people's pain. And then, well, some weird shit happens. Maddie, a talented artist, starts to feel something off about her process. Nate starts seeing things and wonders if the land is haunted. And Oliver attempts to navigate a new school and new friends - including one who can apparently summon things out of mid-air.

Turns out the Graves family moved right across from a "thin" place called Ramble Rocks, and to go into too much additional detail might get spoiler-y so I'll abstain. BUT JUST KNOW that it's deliciously scary, fun and wacky. I love Chuck Wendig because he's able to write some really emotional, moving, disturbing stuff but he can also whip out the wacky to make everyone feel better. Oh, is this scene really gross and weird and sad? Here he is, Wacky Wendig, showing up between the pages to drop a line or two that's hilarious and grounding and takes the sting out of things!

Speaking of taking the sting out of things... well, there is some serious deep-ass WISDOM up in this book. Who knew (well, actually, I think a lot of people knew) that Wacky Wending is also sometimes Wise Wendig, dropping helpful smartbombs about humanity - and, what struck most true for me - about parenting in a world that looks like what it does right now. He doesn't shy away from scary monster shit, but also scary real world shit, which I really appreciated and found oddly comforting in 2021. Things like climate change, school shootings, the threat against democracy, the failures of America, etc. are all acknowledged. Refreshing that this stuff appears to have informed his work which therefore informed me that I am not insane and yes, the world is shit and we are all processing this together.

I really, really, really, really, really, really liked the short chapters.

What other ramblings can my inebriated brain come up with? Oh, well, there's this interlude in a haunted mine and there's a leg thing and it blew my mind, but for the most part, this book is more creepy than downright scary. I liked it that way. The tone felt well-suited to the story and made the whole thing really damn fun. I highly recommend this: a classic sort of horror/dark fantasy with King vibes (and maybe Spielburg vibes?). Read it. Lol, good night.

The Book of Accidents on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads

Review: Something Wicked This Way Comes

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5 stars. Wow. This one moved me to tears. It's so strange... I didn't even really enjoy most of this reading experience. I stopped halfway through to read two other books, because I was bored and confused and needed a break from the purple prose. But somewhere in the second half, I got hooked - or maybe things clicked - and boom, suddenly I was crying. The ending hit me right in the fucking heart, or the gut, or the feels, or something. I just really wasn't expecting that.

Something Wicked This Way Comes should attract readers of all ages and preferences. I feel like my eyes have been opened... I see its influence everywhere from Stephen King to Erin Morgenstern to Clive Barker to Neil Gaiman to Cornelia Funke. It's about the arrival of a carnival at Green Town, Illinois, and how two young boys' discover something dark and sinister under the bright lights and the colorful canopies. It's also about being young and being old and corruption and friendship and fathers and sons and determination and heroism and laughter and free will and... temptation.

It's incredibly beautiful. I don't think I've encountered such gorgeous and unexpected prose since I read Lolita. The imagery is as haunting as it is whimsical and lush. It took some getting used to, but I'll miss those words floating around in my head painting vivid songs. I have associative synesthesia, and this writing might be the closest thing I could find that captures the way my brain concepts concepts and sounds and feelings with certain colors. The words have shapes and edges and corners. Reading this was like dancing inside of an orchestra made of many colors during a thunderstorm.

Originally published in 1962, this book does feature some out-of-date allegories, references and metaphors. And there's a thinly veiled thread of nostalgia running in between the lines, suggesting support for the imagined idea that America was a perfect dreamscape utopia in the 1950s (spoiler alert: it wasn't that). I've also read some fascinating reviews about how this book doesn't hold up at all, especially from an adult perspective. But that's partly why it made me so emotional, I think: like Stephen King's It, it strikes me as a story about the tragedy that is growing up, and I appreciate books that double down on that theme and then give it a solid kick in the teeth for fun.

I would've liked to have read this in college, for a class. I would've liked to have read this at age 13, when the battle between good and evil would've seemed brilliantly intense, and important. But here we are, age 30, disillusioned and cynical and skeptical and yet- and yet- or maybe because all of that- moved to tears by the written sound of laughter and Charles' parting thought that running with the boys, even if it killed him, would be worth it. Ohmygod I'm crying again. Thrilling, this one.

Something Wicked This Way Comes on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads

Review: American Pyscho

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5 stars. I don't know what possessed me to read this book on the eve of a stressful trip, to New York of all places, but let me just say: you haven't lived until you've read these pages on the train up and then reflected on them as you rode through the streets of the city on the way to your hotel. This is a very, very diverting, compelling, New York book that gets a lot of things (vibes, critiques, elements of satire) about the city correct, in my opinion. I think maybe that's one thing that makes reading this so uncomfortable, and confuses squeamish readers: Bret Easton Ellis gets a lot right. Of course he juxtaposes this with absolute sickening violence - stuff that couldn't possibly happen IRL, right? - so we deny that we recognize something in it. Something about identity; something about America; something true.

I keep thinking about how Patrick Bateman's only goal, really (like any other psychopath), is self-preservation and avoidance of consequences. He clearly feels some things... hate, anxiety, fear, nerves, arrogance, desire, appreciation, disgust, etc., but a lot of these feelings revolve around the risk of getting caught or "discovered," maybe. Identified. And as he puts it in one case, he tries to fit in. So Patrick Bateman reflects society - society's values, wants, needs, priorities, habits, superficialities. Very, very interesting. (Can we talk about how he idolizes Donald Trump to the point of it becoming a motif throughout the entire book? Very, very interesting.)

Another surprising thing: this book is fucking hilarious. It's dark humor at its absolute darkest, but I laughed out loud frequently all the way through (the description of Bono, though). Sometimes it's a perfectly dry piece of narration:

"On the way to Wall Street this morning, due to the gridlock I had to get out of the company car and was walking down Fifth Avenue to find a subway station when I passed what I thought was a Halloween parade, which was disorienting since I was fairly sure this was May."

Other times it's a little more blatant:

“But you always bring them up,” McDermott complains. “And always in this casual, educational sort of way. I mean, I don’t want to know anything about Son of Sam or the fucking Hillside Strangler or Ted Bundy or Featherhead, for god sake.”

“Featherhead?” Van Patten asks. “Who’s Featherhead? He sounds exceptionally dangerous.”

“He means Leatherface,” I say, teeth tightly clenched. “Leatherface. He was part of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.”

“Oh.” Van Patten smiles politely. “Of course.”

“And he was exceptionally dangerous,” I say.

And sometimes I found myself laughing despite the giant gutpunch:

"After the office I worked out at Xclusive and once home made obscene phone calls to young Dalton girls, the numbers I chose coming from the register I stole a copy of from the administration office when I broke in last Thursday night. “I’m a corporate raider,” I whispered lasciviously into the cordless phone. “I orchestrate hostile takeovers. What do you think of that?” and I would pause before making sucking noises, freakish piglike grunts, and then ask, “Huh, bitch?” Most of the time I could tell they were frightened and this pleased me greatly, enabled me to maintain a strong, pulsing erection for the duration of the phone calls, until one of the girls, Hilary Wallace, asked, unfazed, “Dad, is that you?” and whatever enthusiasm I’d built up plummeted."

I'd love someone to challenge me on this book. I've tried to do some research, since I missed the controversy when it was published, but I'm still trying to wrap my head around why it's so polarizing (in a world where so much violent content - in all shapes, sizes, formats and levels of extreme - openly exists and is rapidly consumed to the point of popularity... why this one?). For now, having read it with a close eye, it doesn't strike me as especially severe or shocking. Though the violence is absolutely insane and difficult to read at times, it feels intentional and deliberate and purposeful as it contributes to the central theme of the book - not cheap violence for violence's sake. But I'm open to a good argument; convince me! Tell me why I should hate it, or why I should hate myself for finding it a compelling, clever, worthy piece of literature. If BEE is a raging misogynist, as he has been accused (and as proven by his recent-ish cancelation), that's fine, but that's also just a ... different issue.

Anyway.

On his Wikipedia page BEE is quoted as saying "American Psycho doesn't really work as a movie." I think he might be right, at least when it comes to a direct adaptation. I was pretty delighted to find that while the movie version pulls from the source material and is completely aligned in concept/premise, it's also sort of its own thing. Very, very good, but very different in that format. Some of the key features of the book - the transcriptions of designer outfits, the ridiculous food, the references to Les Mis, the written peek into Bateman's internal self/consciousness, the fact that characters keep misremembering and misidentifying people they think they recognize, even some key events - are missing from the movie, which benefits it but also makes the book stand out even more. *Giant Shrug* I really like them both. Sorry Twitter, but that is allowed.

Final thought: American Pyscho is an incredible, classic, bleak piece of work that left me horrified and inspired at the same time. Read it or don't, I don't care. I need to go return some videotapes.

American Pyscho on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads

Review: The Last Final Girl

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5 stars.

Hahahahahahahahaha.

I loved this.

I'm on a final girl kick, and I've mentioned before that I'm someone who loves horror in a way that goes way beyond the superficial enjoyment of scary stories. I love it all - the psychology behind it, the creativity, the tropes, the dark humor, the history of it... I'm a huge horror nerd, and I don't know anyone else IRL like me, so I've found a friend for life in The Last Final Girl.

(That's truly how I feel. Like I found a connection. I got the witty references and the clever jokes. I was in on it for once. I feel like SGJ wrote this just assuming the reader would recognize the names Tobe and Robert and Wes and things like the voice box and the janitor and Tatum and I passed the test or something. Every little reference made me giddy.)

Written in a pseudo-screenplay style, The Last Final Girl introduces us to Izzy, a smart and rebellious horror fan who lands herself smack dab in the middle of a real-life slasher situation when teens start dying in her small town. To give away any more of the narrative would spoil it, IMO, but just know that you can expect: a funny, kickass heroine who knows not to go upstairs, a masked killer with an adorable habit of coming back, a killer homecoming dress, a couple of unexpected (and expected) decapitations, small town vibes, high school drama, and a little nudity.

The deaths were bloody beautiful. The ending made me cry and laugh and cheer - this really has got to be the most brutally charming love letter to slashers ever. I feel so seen. The format isn't for everyone, and takes some getting used to, but by the end I really felt like I had watched a movie. In the wrong hands, this book would have been a vehicle for something really pretentious... but in the right hands, this exploration of meta-horror is wrapped in a really fun package.

Stay stabby, kids. I'm going to go practice my Hodder head tilt in the mirror.

The Last Final Girl on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads

Review: The Final Girl Support Group

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4 stars. Wow, what a wild ride! This was super all over the place, unexpected, breathtaking, action-packed, gritty, and full of all the twists and turns one can expect from a book directly inspired by slasher horror movies. This is horror for fans of horror - fans like me, who aren't just interested in the surface-level stories but also the driving forces within and around the industry and the history and the audience. Fans who like to be "in the know" when it comes to the details, fans who will enjoy the Easter Eggs and clever references and recognize the tropes.

Every horror fan knows about the final girl: the ultimate victim... the survivor. But what happens after the fact, when the blood dries, the news dies down and the monster faces justice? What is she left with? Serious trauma, and the fragile support of her fellow final girls. This book explores, through the lens of an action-packed thriller, what that trauma, recovery and justice would look like in a world that isn't a movie with a happy (?) ending. Spoiler alert: it's messy. Lynnette, our narrator and protagonist, is absolutely shattered when she learns that her carefully-curated existence is under threat. Moving on instinct, fear and determination, she ends up on a crazy mission to save herself and keep her fellow final girls alive, once more, at a horrific cost.

It sounds so grim, and it kind of is. These are big, big themes wrapped up in a clever premise with unlikeable characters. I found it to be really unpredictable and unreliable even though you know to expect, like, a red herring here, a fake fatality there, a twist around the corner. It's incredibly violent and twisted and ugly... stylishly brutal. Hendrix is a master at the "nobody except the audience believes her" thing and some moments really made me squirm in angst. But it's also, honestly, super fun. Almost meta in execution. It's self-aware and darkly funny at times and I loved the dynamic among the final girls group, all of them weird and unhealthy in their own ways, so far from the classic, beautiful, resourceful slasher heroines depicted in Hollywood.

I especially loved Chrissy. Her small yet memorable appearance was beautiful and uncomfortable. As a super fan of slashers and true crime, two "industries" that often focus on (and exploit) crimes against women, I do sometimes ask myself why I'm so fascinated, and what equals too far. I don't think Hendrix is offering any answers here, but he leans into what makes horror movie endings so satisfying and thrilling and why we return to them again and again. Maybe it's not the death depicted, but the life saved.

I docked a star because sometimes things got really random, or I felt like I was missing context. There were a lot of "who wait what now?" moments that will probably be smoothed over in an inevitable adaptation. I can't wait, by the way. This story might be even better as the very thing it examines, satirizes, and references. For now, Grady Hendrix continues his winning streak as a must-read author for me.

The Final Girl Support Group on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads

Review: The North Water

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5 stars. Fucking siiiiiiiccccckkkkkkkkkk. I was SO READY FOR THIS and it was SO READY FOR ME. The North Water is The Terror's shorter, dirtier, less detailed little brother (with fewer exhaustive lists of remaining supplies, I mean, but more whales), about a bunch of foolish men heading into the brutal north only to be devastated by nature in all its forms, including the natural proclivities of the men themselves. It's a survival story with threats of all shapes and sizes, external and internal, all of which feel interesting and inevitable. Nature always wins against the illusion of the advanced.

Our main character is Patrick Sumner, an Irish surgeon who was recently forced to leave the military after witnessing and experiencing some truly horrifying and violent events in India. Haunted by his past, addicted to opium and ultimately directionless, he decides to join a crew of whalers and serve as ship surgeon for the Volunteer. But not all is as it seems on this voyage, from the route to the cargo to the men who crew it. As the weather and conditions deteriorate, so does his hold on civilization itself.

I'M SO EXCITED TO TALK ABOUT THIS BOOK. Okay, first of all - this is about as gritty, dark and depressing as they come. From the premise to the details to the word choice ("khaki phlegm" comes to mind, as does "squirts of shit" and "unspeakable rectal oozings of a human corpse..." yummy), The North Water is absolutely relentless with the violence, gore and bodily fluids. I could put a trigger warning on every page, and animal lovers should especially be warned.

But it's not ONLY blood, guts and shit... there are also a lot of subtle and not-so-subtle philosophical musings and conversations about instinct, morals, ambition, action, obligation, and man's place in the world. Sumner spends most of the book reacting to the extreme evil he experiences and witnesses firsthand, trying and failing to reconcile it with the world and the life he expected for himself. It's frightening and heartbreaking and ultimately really beautiful, in the way his story turns out.

It is a grave mistake to think too much, he reminds himself, a grave mistake. Life will not be puzzled out, or blathered into submission; it must be lived through, survived, in whatever fashion a man can manage."

And then there's Henry Drax, who has only a little bit of page time but enough stage presence to chew up everyone else entirely. He is not scary because he is a murderer, exactly, it's more because he is truly feral - he exists in a space without morals or laws or consideration. He just floats on his dark instincts and tendencies, with no thought for consequence other than the hunt, delivering pain, and self-preservation. He doesn't even go to any lengths to hide his crimes, like Ted Bundy on his final spree. Away with the charm and the sidesteps and the denials, onward with causing as much destruction as humanly possible.

I was especially blown away by the ending. I was really holding my breath, there, as everything came to a head, and I'm happy to say I could let it out with absolute satisfaction after reading the final line. Men and animals, indeed. All in all, an incredible read for fans of gritlit and horror and books in which Women Are Not a Thing lol. Very excited to check out the adaptation soon.

The North Water on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads