Review: What Was She Thinking? [Notes on a Scandal]

2019 CHALLENGE: 1 RE-READ PER MONTH 03 / 12

5 stars. I LOVE THIS BOOK. This was my third re-read and I couldn't put it down. It always sends tingles down my spine in the best way. Smart, accessible, darkly funny.

It essentially tells the story of a student-teacher affair through the eyes of an abhorrent, deeply unreliable narrator. Barbara Covett is her name, Covett being a clever twist on her voyeuristic, overwhelming desire to ... control, be noticed by, be consumed by, be desired by the target of her obsession. She is an arrogant, pretentious stalker who happens to fixate on the lovely and naive Sheba Hart, a new art teacher at her school. When Sheba embarks on a dangerous and elicit affair with a student, Barbara utilizes the situation to her advantage until everything explodes in a disastrous and life-altering climax.

I just LOVE THIS BOOK. It checks all the boxes for me: unreliable narrator, snappy British writing, scandalous details about a tantalizing affair, deep exploration of the female identity, comprehensive exploration of the female identify including how foolhardy and clueless and selfish and competitive women can be, repressed homosexuality, fierce and bold emphasis on appearance versus reality, crisp, page-turning prose, the list goes on. 

And Barbara, oh Barbara, what a beautiful character. So fucking critical of everyone. She's so transparent it makes me laugh, out loud. How often do you suspect that someone is a creepy hypocrite and get an unlimited peek behind the curtain to confirm? Constantly accusing others of self-deception and playing the victim and she's the worst offender. Nobody - nobody - is safe from her zingers. Actually, I tend to see a little bit of Barbara in all of us, mentally putting others down, reading and re-reading and over-analyzing and judging other people. We all take a bit of comfort building our own illusions and living in them.

(Pay close attention, because there are other little lessons like that embedded in these pages. Lessons about marriage and monogamy and children and friendship and female friendship and aging and sex.) 

I think part of the brilliance, too, is that Barbara rather honestly depicts how people react to her, and does so indignantly. Can you believe he said that? Can you believe he treated me in such a manner? As though outrage is the only acceptable reaction. Ironically, by depicting these interactions so honestly we are able to see the truth - that she's actually awful. We see this through her attempts to obscure it, through her lack of self-awareness.

I could go on and on and on. The movie adaptation is also fantastic if you're interested in a less darkly humorous version of the story. Truth be told I can't picture anyone but Cate Blanchett and Judi Dench in the roles of Sheba and Barbara, even if I try. This is just a truly amazing story - an incredible character study and a genius piece of writing with a sick ending. I can't wait to re-read it again.

Clever and nasty is what this book is. Clever and nasty.

What Was She Thinking? [Notes on a Scandal] on: Amazon | Goodreads