Review: Penpal

4 stars. I'm gonna sit on that rating, though, and retain the right to revisit it after a few days. I docked a star for an UCD (instead of an UDD), and for the writing itself, but I may be considering things a little too superficially. I knew it was going to be devastating - everyone warned me it would be devastating - but I wasn't quite expecting that. This is an incredibly impressive book. Twisted, but impressive.

Adopted from a series of submissions to r/nosleep, Penpal tells the story of a man recollecting a series of bizarre and terrifying events he experienced as a child. It's a puzzle - the stories unfold in a non-linear fashion - but it comes together eventually as he connects the dark dots. It's also about the tragedy of growing up, coming-of-age, loss of innocence, fading friendships... all that good stuff and more.

I tell you what, similar to my reaction to S2 of The White Lotus: I had a lot of theories, and all of them were wrong. The author had me pinballing against so many possibilities: demons, aliens, multiple dimensions, time travel, ghosts, dissociative identities, multiple personalities, PTSD, mental illness, amnesia... all of them were wrong. And what was left, after opening and closing all those doors? Literally the most terrifying option imaginable.

Yes, this absolutely feels like a series of reddit posts. The writing doesn't feel... the way writing usually does in a book. Also, the boys never really act their ages. At first I was annoyed by it - who does this guy think he is - and then I melted into it and realized the style actually lends itself to the story. I got obsessed, and couldn't put it down. I can't imagine how it must have felt to read this stuff online, and how incredible the conclusion must've been. I'm sure the novel feels bloated in comparison, but IMO the fleshed out details are what make you feel safe before you get to a point where you have to fill in the horrifying gaps yourself.

Speaking of, I'm off to study some stuff about this so I can learn more and sort through my thoughts. BRB.

Back! Wow, sometimes the internet truly is an amazing thing.

Anyway, I'm not afraid to admit I was creeped out reading. This book feels super, super dark in a way, almost cursed, like I don't want to touch it ever again. Like I want to purge it from my Kindle or burn it or something. Like it hits something that even me, a huge horror true crime fan - the darker the better - doesn't want to know about. 

YEEK.

Penpal on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads