Review: The Last Final Girl

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5 stars.

Hahahahahahahahaha.

I loved this.

I'm on a final girl kick, and I've mentioned before that I'm someone who loves horror in a way that goes way beyond the superficial enjoyment of scary stories. I love it all - the psychology behind it, the creativity, the tropes, the dark humor, the history of it... I'm a huge horror nerd, and I don't know anyone else IRL like me, so I've found a friend for life in The Last Final Girl.

(That's truly how I feel. Like I found a connection. I got the witty references and the clever jokes. I was in on it for once. I feel like SGJ wrote this just assuming the reader would recognize the names Tobe and Robert and Wes and things like the voice box and the janitor and Tatum and I passed the test or something. Every little reference made me giddy.)

Written in a pseudo-screenplay style, The Last Final Girl introduces us to Izzy, a smart and rebellious horror fan who lands herself smack dab in the middle of a real-life slasher situation when teens start dying in her small town. To give away any more of the narrative would spoil it, IMO, but just know that you can expect: a funny, kickass heroine who knows not to go upstairs, a masked killer with an adorable habit of coming back, a killer homecoming dress, a couple of unexpected (and expected) decapitations, small town vibes, high school drama, and a little nudity.

The deaths were bloody beautiful. The ending made me cry and laugh and cheer - this really has got to be the most brutally charming love letter to slashers ever. I feel so seen. The format isn't for everyone, and takes some getting used to, but by the end I really felt like I had watched a movie. In the wrong hands, this book would have been a vehicle for something really pretentious... but in the right hands, this exploration of meta-horror is wrapped in a really fun package.

Stay stabby, kids. I'm going to go practice my Hodder head tilt in the mirror.

The Last Final Girl on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads

Review: The Final Girl Support Group

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4 stars. Wow, what a wild ride! This was super all over the place, unexpected, breathtaking, action-packed, gritty, and full of all the twists and turns one can expect from a book directly inspired by slasher horror movies. This is horror for fans of horror - fans like me, who aren't just interested in the surface-level stories but also the driving forces within and around the industry and the history and the audience. Fans who like to be "in the know" when it comes to the details, fans who will enjoy the Easter Eggs and clever references and recognize the tropes.

Every horror fan knows about the final girl: the ultimate victim... the survivor. But what happens after the fact, when the blood dries, the news dies down and the monster faces justice? What is she left with? Serious trauma, and the fragile support of her fellow final girls. This book explores, through the lens of an action-packed thriller, what that trauma, recovery and justice would look like in a world that isn't a movie with a happy (?) ending. Spoiler alert: it's messy. Lynnette, our narrator and protagonist, is absolutely shattered when she learns that her carefully-curated existence is under threat. Moving on instinct, fear and determination, she ends up on a crazy mission to save herself and keep her fellow final girls alive, once more, at a horrific cost.

It sounds so grim, and it kind of is. These are big, big themes wrapped up in a clever premise with unlikeable characters. I found it to be really unpredictable and unreliable even though you know to expect, like, a red herring here, a fake fatality there, a twist around the corner. It's incredibly violent and twisted and ugly... stylishly brutal. Hendrix is a master at the "nobody except the audience believes her" thing and some moments really made me squirm in angst. But it's also, honestly, super fun. Almost meta in execution. It's self-aware and darkly funny at times and I loved the dynamic among the final girls group, all of them weird and unhealthy in their own ways, so far from the classic, beautiful, resourceful slasher heroines depicted in Hollywood.

I especially loved Chrissy. Her small yet memorable appearance was beautiful and uncomfortable. As a super fan of slashers and true crime, two "industries" that often focus on (and exploit) crimes against women, I do sometimes ask myself why I'm so fascinated, and what equals too far. I don't think Hendrix is offering any answers here, but he leans into what makes horror movie endings so satisfying and thrilling and why we return to them again and again. Maybe it's not the death depicted, but the life saved.

I docked a star because sometimes things got really random, or I felt like I was missing context. There were a lot of "who wait what now?" moments that will probably be smoothed over in an inevitable adaptation. I can't wait, by the way. This story might be even better as the very thing it examines, satirizes, and references. For now, Grady Hendrix continues his winning streak as a must-read author for me.

The Final Girl Support Group on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads

Review: Regarding the Fountain

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It's time for a THROWBACK THURSDAY! I'm not a very, shall we say, sentimental person, but because the most vivid and joyful memories of my childhood involve books, I sometimes feel a strong pull toward my old favorites. I've dabbled in fun re-reads before, but I'd like to make it more of a priority: books shouldn't just sit on the shelf! They should be enjoyed! So here we are. Throwback Thursday.

5 stars. All the stars. This is the cleanse I needed. If you have an hour to spare and want to escape from all the gloom, doom, anxiety, panic, chaos, and office politics, start here. I read this as a kid - many times - and it's just as charming and funny as I remembered. The last page almost made me fucking emotional. I think it hit me like that because the Klise World is so beautiful, lovely, and warm, full of low stakes and happy endings and tangible justice - so different from reality. I'm ready to jump into these pages and never leave.

The water fountain in Dry Creek Middle School has sprung a leak! Principal Walter (not Wally) Russ reaches out to Florence Waters, world-renowned fountain architect and globetrotting adventuress, for an estimate on a new one. But there's trouble afoot in Dry Creek, and some "concerned" citizens are insisting that a new fountain isn't needed. Thankfully Sam N.'s Fifth Grade class is on the case, and they are determined to figure out why exactly there's so much controversy regarding the fountain!

Ahh, it's really a Kelly Classic. Epistolary, clever, inspiring. And it's got a downright heartwarming message. Florence is my hero and the kids are so creative and cute. The *mystery* is incredibly fun and the illustrations are absolutely perfect - right down to the facial expressions and witty details. I just cannot say enough about what a good read this is, for all ages. For anyone in need of a boost. Cheers to art, generosity, and living life to the fullest in a fun, flowing fountain!

Regarding the Fountain on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads

Review: Hidden Bodies (You #2)

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3 stars. PHEW. I absolutely draggggggeeedddddd my way through this. It's not bad, and I really enjoyed jumping into Joe's head again (not sure what that says about me, but okay). But there were a couple of specific things that put me off here.

FIRST - we find Joe presumably happy in a new relationship but haunted by his past. I don't think it's a spoiler to say that the book kicks off when his girlfriend betrays him and flees to Los Angeles, luring him to the whole new world of the West Coast. But he's distracted from his mission (which appropriately involves a ton of stalking, hunting, and criticizing) when he finds true love. Zap, just like that, Joe has what he wants. Blah, blah, blah, secrets from the past come to light, what is justice, what is love, who deserves to die (a lot of celebrities, apparently), etc.

Hidden Bodies has all the things I loved about You: Joe's scathing judgments, his obsessions, his squirliness, his biting critique of ... well, everyone. It's so fascinating to me that he's so hateful and right at the same time. That makes trendy-bendy Los Angeles a perfect playground for him; a perfect setting change from the first book. I'm not a fan of LA, I just don't like the vibes, and Joe definitely captures a lot of why that is. But the fact that I don't like LA is also kind of why I was distracted from reading this so easily - it's immersively LA.

The plot rambled and there were maybe too many twists and it's missing some of the fun of it all. I'm used to Joe by now, and maybe I loved You so much because it felt so different and unique. I agree with some of the other reviewers here that it could've been a successful standalone and maybe should've stayed that way. Still, I have to admit that the writing is pretty spectacular in Hidden Bodies, and the second half gets pretty exciting, and I don't think I can stay away from the next one.

Hidden Bodies on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads

Review: The North Water

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5 stars. Fucking siiiiiiiccccckkkkkkkkkk. I was SO READY FOR THIS and it was SO READY FOR ME. The North Water is The Terror's shorter, dirtier, less detailed little brother (with fewer exhaustive lists of remaining supplies, I mean, but more whales), about a bunch of foolish men heading into the brutal north only to be devastated by nature in all its forms, including the natural proclivities of the men themselves. It's a survival story with threats of all shapes and sizes, external and internal, all of which feel interesting and inevitable. Nature always wins against the illusion of the advanced.

Our main character is Patrick Sumner, an Irish surgeon who was recently forced to leave the military after witnessing and experiencing some truly horrifying and violent events in India. Haunted by his past, addicted to opium and ultimately directionless, he decides to join a crew of whalers and serve as ship surgeon for the Volunteer. But not all is as it seems on this voyage, from the route to the cargo to the men who crew it. As the weather and conditions deteriorate, so does his hold on civilization itself.

I'M SO EXCITED TO TALK ABOUT THIS BOOK. Okay, first of all - this is about as gritty, dark and depressing as they come. From the premise to the details to the word choice ("khaki phlegm" comes to mind, as does "squirts of shit" and "unspeakable rectal oozings of a human corpse..." yummy), The North Water is absolutely relentless with the violence, gore and bodily fluids. I could put a trigger warning on every page, and animal lovers should especially be warned.

But it's not ONLY blood, guts and shit... there are also a lot of subtle and not-so-subtle philosophical musings and conversations about instinct, morals, ambition, action, obligation, and man's place in the world. Sumner spends most of the book reacting to the extreme evil he experiences and witnesses firsthand, trying and failing to reconcile it with the world and the life he expected for himself. It's frightening and heartbreaking and ultimately really beautiful, in the way his story turns out.

It is a grave mistake to think too much, he reminds himself, a grave mistake. Life will not be puzzled out, or blathered into submission; it must be lived through, survived, in whatever fashion a man can manage."

And then there's Henry Drax, who has only a little bit of page time but enough stage presence to chew up everyone else entirely. He is not scary because he is a murderer, exactly, it's more because he is truly feral - he exists in a space without morals or laws or consideration. He just floats on his dark instincts and tendencies, with no thought for consequence other than the hunt, delivering pain, and self-preservation. He doesn't even go to any lengths to hide his crimes, like Ted Bundy on his final spree. Away with the charm and the sidesteps and the denials, onward with causing as much destruction as humanly possible.

I was especially blown away by the ending. I was really holding my breath, there, as everything came to a head, and I'm happy to say I could let it out with absolute satisfaction after reading the final line. Men and animals, indeed. All in all, an incredible read for fans of gritlit and horror and books in which Women Are Not a Thing lol. Very excited to check out the adaptation soon.

The North Water on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads

Review: The Cold Vanish

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4 stars. The Cold Vanish is about the unexplained disappearance of Jacob Gray, and the astounding number of similar disappearances in National Parks across the US. It is not strictly historical or descriptive non-fiction (though it appears to be incredibly well-researched); the author spent some time with Jacob's father and offers a lot of personal insight into the tragedy and its impact. I should mention: I've seen some back-and-forth about whether or not Billman may have exploited, manipulated or mischaracterized Jacob and his family - I can't offer an informed comment on this, but I truly hope this wasn't the case.

I think it's pretty clear that this is for fans of true crime, Missing: 411 and especially Unsolved Mysteries. I would argue that this is probably ONLY for fans of those things. It's appeal to me was and still is the premise and that alone. If you're the type of person who can read chapter after chapter containing slightly varied versions of what is essentially the same super dark story, you won't hate this. You'll be gripped by the mysteries, the bizarre details, the lure of answers and the ultimate lack of them. So in that sense, The Cold Vanish succeeds. In execution, maybe less so.

Yeah, the writing is a bit weird here. There are impressive moments of description and observation, but in between those are instances of amateur repetition and over-the-top levels of detail. As I mentioned above, it's very well-researched. It perhaps could've used some sharper edges, or some smarter editing. It's not bad, by any means. It gets the job done. I also could have gone without the long chapter about Duff and his bloodhounds. It smelled like a vehicle for the author to try out a sort of darkly funny attempt at gonzo journalism, or something. Sure, Duff sounds like a character and his hounds seem very talented. I was just bored.

Conclusions are few and far between. You'll know this going in. The questions, and the possibilities, are endless. A few things that really got me:

- If you go missing in a poor county, you are far less likely to be found. I suppose I knew this, being somewhat familiar with local governments and SAR budgets, but to really see and feel that was sickening. This country, man. This fucking country.

- To have hope is far worse than having closure. I also sort of knew that already, but the stories told here paint it as painfully true.

- In the wilderness, it's actually not that difficult to disappear. That's what's so fascinating about it - what's difficult is to pinpoint the how/why/where.

Jacob's story - and the other stories featured here - are haunting and deeply unfortunate. But the book is full of heartening stories, too... stories of survival and determination and resilience. I've always personally been drawn to the dark stuff, especially mysteries like these, but I always try to appreciate and respect the impact on those involved. In my opinion, Billman threads that needle as well as possible.

The Cold Vanish on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads

Review: Vengeful (Villains #2)

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4 stars. I DON'T KNOW, OKAY? I just couldn't focus on this one - it took me weeks - WEEKS - to read! I was even considering 3 stars but the truth is I'm not sure I can actually identify what's wrong with it... I really try to be critical in a fair way, but sometimes my rating is just all about my personal, instinctive, gut-check reaction. So, 4 stars it is.

Vengeful picks up where Vicious left off. Victor Vale, resurrected by Sydney at the end of book 1, is back and ready to resume his mission to kill his nemesis, Eli Ever. Except he's sick. And he can't get to Eli until he gets better. So he starts hunting down EO's, trying to find one who can fix him. Meanwhile, Eli is locked up in EON's super freaky monster jail, and oh yeah, there's a new, scary EO taking over the city with her deliciously destructive powers. Heroes fall, villains rise, yada yada yada.

It's so awesome. I absolutely adored Schwab's expansion of this universe, even if I didn't connect to the plot that much. It was fun getting a peek into some other POVs, and learning more about EO origins. Marcella is a tremendous character, and it was particularly enjoyable to watch her, ahem, burn it all down.

“How many men would she have to turn to dust before one took her seriously?”

I would also say that, like the first book, this series is a must-read for comic book and graphic novel fans. The twists and turns, the level of insanity, the character names, the settings, the campy villains, the attention to visual details - the architecture of a building, the color of nail polish - elevate this story to a steady level of fun I experience reading about superheroes.

I loved the narrow focus of the first book - it felt like such a prequel - and I could just feel the tremors of possibility. Schwab opened all those doors and then some. Despite not getting that super orgasmic 5 star feeling, I really enjoyed it. I'm officially joining the chorus: I WANT MORE!!! THIS IS SOME CRAZY GOOD SHIT!!!!

Vengeful on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads

Review: The Secret Place

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3 stars. I mean ... incredible. I have no idea why this didn't work for me, because objectively - it's an incredible book. Maybe I didn't leave myself enough time between French books, maybe the subject matter was too ... crushing, familiar territory, or something. I just found this one to be too much. Too floral, too soft, too mushy, bloated with whimsy and weird imagery. (Was this book even edited?) I also had some trouble, well, following along, which felt like such a slap in the face after the tight clarity of Broken Harbor. Tana French will always be a must-read for me, and there's nothing less impressive about this one. I'm just having a strange reaction, is all.

Here she dives into the dangerous jungle of female adolescence. Told in alternating flashbacks from various POVs, The Secret Place is about the murder of a young boy on the grounds of a girls' boarding school. Like all of her mysteries, it's more about the how/why than the who, and yep, we take a really, long, meandering, spiraling, detail-filled journey to get there. Her detectives have to learn to work together, two friendless misfits who share an ambition, and navigate among - OMG like, so gross and terrifying? - the youths to get their solve. There are rival girl gangs, secrets, illicit romances, and more. It's all a little gaggy sweet, if I'm being honest. Like, light nasty instead of dark nasty. If that makes any sense.

I really appreciate that she changed up the format, though, and tried something a little new. I adore Frank Mackey and was happy to see him again. There's also a touch of special here - magic, mystery, strange forces - that really freshens things up. I can see why it threw other fans for a loop; she often comes across as strict when it comes to her crimes. But I didn't mind it, especially because she was so casual about it. Her characters (everything from the way they speak to the way they interact) are as usual, pretty damn perfect, pretty damn engaging. The mystery itself is less so, also, I couldn't help but cringe a few times thanks to the unrealistic but personally-triggering re-emergence back into the world of being a female teenager. Fuck. That.

Man, French's world, or worlds - from the Squad to the school to the neighborhoods to the workplaces to the family homes - are all so fucking brutal, aren't they? This one was excruciatingly sad, to me. Her writing is something else really. I say this all the time about Stephen King, and I think it applies here as well: a mediocre Tana French is still going to be an incredibly good read. She's dependable like that.

The Secret Place on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads

Review: The Echo Wife

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3 stars. Ahh, interesting. I see why this is compared to a Megan Abbott book - it's a delicious thriller with a solid premise and some serious twists and turns. It's a well-written pageturner with a questionable protagonist who makes questionable decisions while navigating very specific and severe traumas, both old and fresh. I guess I kind of thought it would be more of a straightforward sci-fi, focused on the science and the tech and the clone aspect. But this really is about so much more: identity, a marriage, secrets, and laboratory ethics. There's actually a lot of writing in this book that takes us through the narrator's long thought spirals into each of these topics.

The plot, though, is this: Evelyn, a successful scientist, discovers that her husband has stolen her research with the intention of replacing her with her own clone, manufactured and programmed without flaws and designed to have his child. Evelyn, deeply wounded by this betrayal, embraces a cold and focused part of her identity and thrown herself into her work, determined to avoid the emotional nature of the situation. But when her clone - Martine, his new and newly pregnant fiance - calls her, begging for her help to come and clean up an impossible situation, Evelyn can't refuse, taking them both down an insane, irreversible, groundbreaking path.

I want to talk about Nathan, and how he is barely a part of this story, though the consequences of his actions drive the entire plot from beginning to end. Evelyn may be the narrator, but she has been shaped by abusive men her entire life, as has Martine, and both of them continue to be even in their absence. The tragedy here to me is that they must carve out a way to exist beyond and without Nathan - and go to great lengths to do so - while ensuring they are safe from him, in a way. And he barely appears on screen. It's an interesting angle.

So why 3 stars? This obviously made me think a lot, and I was engrossed. I think what it comes down to is that I liked the idea of Evelyn (cold, calculating, bloodthirsty, cruel, self-awarely selfish, focused, constantly simmering with rage and ambition), but I didn't like the reality of being in her head, mostly because her inner monologue delayed the action so often. I mentioned her thought spirals above - I did find myself skimming a bit in the second half as she tried to navigate descending (or climbing?) the hill she'd built for herself. I am also embarrassingly, personally triggered by toxic bosses and couldn't stand the way she tried to justify being a cruel employer.

That's a lot of words for a short book, though, so I do recommend picking this one up, maybe as a beach read. The scientific aspects are super well-done for something so implausible (for now...). I can't wait to read more from this author!

The Echo Wife on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads

Review: Black Sun (Between Earth and Sky #1)

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4 stars. SO FUN. So interesting. I highly recommend this new book from Rebecca Roanhorse, a fantasy set in the Pre-Columbian Americas as an important change of pace. It has all the complex world-building of, for example, ASOIAF, but it's accessible, fast-paced, inclusive, and much more fun. I'm really excited for the next installment, because this in a lot of ways did feel like a prequel; a set-up; a tease.

The story is multiple POV, set primarily right before the Convergence: a solar eclipse that marks the Winter Solstice. It is also meant to bring, for only some expectedly, the rebirth of the Crow God, set to emerge from a human vessel marked for this purpose since birth. This God will bring vengeance to those who betrayed his clan decades ago, and throw the world into a dark chaos brimming with magic old and new.

That all sounds really bloody and grim, which it is, sort of. But the characters navigating this dark premise are charming, funny, lovable, and determined, plus a slow-burning romance gives as many light moments as it does angsty ones. There's a disgraced sea captain, feisty and clumsy and struggling with her own identity. There's a savvy and smart priestess, focused on political strategy for good rather than personal gain. And there's the human vessel himself, powerful and dangerous and duty-bound to sacrifice the unimaginable.

It's quite a collection of characters, and I cheered for every single one, despite them all being on different sides (...for now). The world-building is pure and imaginative but not overly detailed or heavy - plus magical elements create some really sparkly moments. I docked a star for occasional preachiness and a somewhat amateur feel during certain moments, but please know that I highly recommend this book. I'm really looking forward to what happens next.

Black Sun on: Amazon | Bookshop.org | Goodreads