Review: The Sands of Time (The Hermux Tantamoq Adventures #2)

2019 CHALLENGE: 1 RE-READ PER MONTH 12 / 12

5 stars. Ah, what a pleasure to return to the world of Hermux Tantamoq and his exciting adventures. I really loved re-reading this not just for the nostalgia but for the details I missed as a young person. There's so much witty humor here to enjoy!

In The Sands of Time, our view of Hermux's world expands wonderfully. His artistic friend, Mirren, has regained her sight and attempted to capture what she saw during her years of darkness. Unfortunately, the citizens of Pinchester have no stomach for the mythical creatures she paints: CATS. 

Luckily, or unluckily, an old friend of hers returns claiming to have discovered proof that cats existed in a kingdom in the desert. With a little daring and a lot of cheese, Hermux and his special lady Linka embark on a quest to find the kingdom and save Mirren's show! 

It's adorable - just as adorable as the first book. The plot is a bit more complicated but Hoeye deftly keeps the pages turning and the tone intact. Each character maintains a distinct voice and motivations, and, perhaps more profoundly here than in the first, we encounter a range of "villains" instead of black-and-white good versus evil. Tucka has her moments, but she'll always be Tucka after all.

And just like the first book, there are astoundingly deep themes for such a seemingly superficial book. It's for young people, but it embeds some amazing lessons within its pages that'd be just as suitable for adults. 

My brain is SUPERFRIED from the holidays, so I'll leave it at that. I just really, really, really recommend these books. Also, they make me hungry for cheese.

The Sands of Time on: Amazon | Goodreads

Review: Ready Player One

2019 CHALLENGE: 1 YOU HAVEN'T READ THAT YET?! PER MONTH 11 / 12

Ah fine, 5 stars it is. I'm in a good mood, and it's the holidays. What the hell, why not? 'Tis the season. But don't get me wrong - I have complaints! But this is a GREAT read. I loved it. 

Look, this was FUN. It was entertaining. It was well-written, RELEVANT, amusing, adventurous, and delightful. Ready Player One is The Westing Game + Warcross + Willy Wonka. It takes place in the future (normally I would use the word dystopian but I think it may just be the expected reality now), when the world is decaying and humans spend most of their time in a VR program called Oasis. Oasis's creator dies and leaves a "hunt" as his legacy - an Easter egg contest with his fortune as the prize. Obviously this inspires millions to study up on the creator's obsessions in the hopes of finding clues to the egg. 

One of these hunters, Wade, stumbles across the first clue and suddenly the game is afoot. We get to witness him form alliances and enemies as he races against corporate drones (intent on winning the contest to monetize the Oasis platform - boo hiss so evil!!), solves puzzles and plays games for the ultimate prize. It's an addicting read full of its own Easter eggs - thousands of references to 80s pop culture. Which of course I loved.

I know I mentioned complaints. I guess my heart is still a few sizes too small. Here they are: first, it's a teensy weensy ittle bittle tryhard. I didn't find the adolescent voices entirely convincing. Second, I'm not sure if it was actually a bit preachy in places. I completely stand by the book's messaging, I just found the delivery a tad hamfisted and dry. It is eerily and accurately bleak when it comes to the future of the human race, but some of that exposition came across as info dumpy. And pompous. 

I actually found myself complaining to my husband about this mid-read, while simultaneously trying to convince him to read it. It's just too much FUN. Many of my favorite movies, books, TV shows, etc. aren't PERFECT. I enjoy them to such a degree that they are affecting, and offer proper escape. This is a wonderful pageturner for readers of all ages and I'm excited to view the adaptation. 

Ready Player One on: Amazon | Goodreads

Review: Time Stops for No Mouse (The Hermux Tantamoq Adventures #1)

2019 CHALLENGE: 1 RE-READ PER MONTH 10 / 12

5 stars. I wish I could convey how much I adore this book without coming across a bit obsessive. One of my purposes in conducting a re-read challenge for 2019 was to revisit some of the books I enjoyed as a young person - knowing that I wouldn't always experience a gutpunch of nostalgia in a positive way. I wanted to read these books with new eyes and a fresh perspective and see if they held up! And this one, most positively of all my re-reads so far, hugged my heart fiercely.

Time Stops for No Mouse is the first Hermux Tantamoq adventure out of four (far too few, in my opinion!). Hermux, a plucky watchmaker from Pinchester, accidentally stumbles into an evil plot involving an attractive-but-missing aviatrix, a terrifying cosmetics tycoon, hideous modern art, dreadful machinery, disguises, and a short and strange stay at a wellness center. It's an absolutely solid mystery with fantastic, distinct characters, high stakes and clever humor that will appeal to readers of all ages.

I suppose some here reacted negatively to the rather "cute" tone of these books, the names specifically. I actually LOVE the writing. I love the names and the flavor and the cozy undertones. I love the detailed descriptions of the mundane - it's often in these details that the author is his most amusing. Side note: I actually bought apples and cheese at the grocery store after reading about Hermux's delightful snacks. Where can I find some honey fizz?

For such an apparently superficial novel, this book packs some incredibly touching, emotional moments between its pages. I specifically remember being traumatized by a chapter in which Hermux discovers that his pet ladybug, Terfle, is missing. It broke my heart at 12, and it broke my heart again this time. And the ending - well, let's just say it's happy in some deeply meaningful ways. Happy in a way that will, honestly, stick with me for a long time.

But enough about the deep stuff. This book is just plain FUN! And I can't help but note how perfectly put together it is visually - the font is perfect, and each chapter has an amusing, clean clip art picture placed under its title (however: a chapter called "Get the Picture," notably, does not). There are tons of treats between these lines to discover and smile at, and I actually can't wait to re-read the sequel, and maybe this one again, in a weird never-ending cycle because the world is hard right now.

Time Stops for No Mouse on: Amazon | Goodreads

Review: Sherwood

3 stars. Annoyed. I really enjoyed Hunted but found this lacking. I knew almost immediately that I wasn't in the right mood for something that felt so incredibly YA, but I tried to give it a fair chance. Here's why it didn't work, for me:

1. I don't believe in young love, or even true love. I KNOW, I'm ice cold. But I simply cannot. Cannot. Wrap my head around the idea of two kids being in love. Infatuation? Of course! I don't mean to be rude, I'm just saying I couldn't relate. I thought I knew what love was at 16. I did not. In my experience, that's sort of true for everyone. Ah, youths.

2. I was supremely bothered by Robin's "voice" haunting Marian's mind and passing along guidance, like an amateur Obi Wan. I don't know, it just didn't feel like a mature facet of Marion's character growth. Romantic? Maybe. I recognize that this was a device that represented her grief and her growth. It just made me roll my eyes.

3. It was a little too on the nose with the gender stuff. I 100% support the message, just not the execution. My head is really sore from being beaten by that stick. Why yes, it is easier to fight the bad guys in pants. Please spell it out for me, this is groundbreaking. [Clarification: I absolutely adored the message and the underlying themes here.]

4. I love the idea of a gender-flipped Robin Hood, but didn't enjoy the specifics of the premise. Robin's ... ghost? What?

5. One of the primary antagonists was physically scarred, and his disfigurement was frequently highlighted as a feature of his villainy. So was his ambition, and intelligence. I'm not comfortable with this. I know, I know ... it turned out alright in the end. But I initially wanted to label this as problematic.

Here's the thing though (and perhaps I should've led with this) - by the end of it all, I was REALLY into it. I couldn't put it down. Marian really is such a badass and there were some seriously awesome twists and turns. The story of Robin Hood is super irresistible to begin with and I got way caught up in the fighting and the romance and the idea that symbols can inspire revolutions.

Even my cold, cold heart is positively delighted by an archery contest.

I do recommend this. I just don't think I was in the mood, to start.

Also, the ending is very abrupt.

Sherwood on: Amazon | Goodreads

Retro Review: Three Dark Crowns

When I started this blog, I had been posting reviews on Goodreads for about 6 months. In the interest of having all of my book writing in one place, I will post one of these old reviews every Friday. They weren't written with a blog in mind, so please forgive the lack of summary and off-the-cuff tone.

It took way too long for this story to click into place, and when it did, it was only-sorta-barely satisfying enough. I was into the premise (very, very, very Game of Thrones-ish) and the writing is ... pretty good, but I completely understand why many did not finish. The number of characters is off-putting, especially at the beginning, and the lack of action causes things to really drag. Pacing, pacing, pacing.

I don't mean to be entirely negative. Blake earns points for a fun ending and some interesting loose ends. I liked the mood, the atmosphere, and the fairy tale tone. There's a sense that we started reading this story through a magnifying lens and our view will now expand rapidly until we get some history/context. Intriguing! And the book tastes awesome - it's got that spicy fantasy flavor everyone knows and loves. At the end of the day, though, it just didn't satisfy my hunger.

I think I might read on, hoping that some of the issues resolve themselves in book 2. Oh, and I would ask for fewer empty romantic subplots but I'm not so sure that's a Blake thing. That just may be a YA fantasy thing.

Three Dark Crowns on: Amazon | Goodreads

Retro Review: Evil Librarian

When I started this blog, I had been posting reviews on Goodreads for about 6 months. In the interest of having all of my book writing in one place, I will post one of these old reviews every Friday. They weren't written with a blog in mind, so please forgive the lack of summary and off-the-cuff tone.

2 stars. Quick summary: Cynthia's best friend, Annie, has a crush on the hot new librarian. Unfortunately, he's a demon. Time to battle evil, save Annie, save the world, win the boy, and give the best performance of Sweeney Todd ever.

Awesome premise. Poor execution.

I really had some issues with this, for some reason (seriously - am I the only one?).

It's actually kind of unlike me to be so grumpy about a book, usually I can find things to appreciate and I try to keep a healthy perspective. I guess maybe my expectations were a little too high for this one.

Basically, it comes down to two things. The first bothersome aspect, for me, was the romance. The character of Ryan has got to be about the least believable 16-year-old boy I've ever read. No teenage boy acts like he does, at least in my experience. And honestly, I could've done without the romantic subplot completely.

The second annoying aspect, and this is PURELY based on my preferences/interests and not REALLY a direct criticism of the book/author, is the musical theater theme. I love music, I love theater, and I was raised on musical theater, so I really do appreciate the references to some degree. But this book was, in my opinion, supersaturated. I have so much respect for those involved with musical theater in any capacity - it just seemed a little ... overdone? Obvious? I just really wasn't interested.

Here's the thing. I would've loved a book about an evil librarian had it been executed perfectly according to my tastes. But that's not really the author's job, is it? I can't exactly expect an author to read my mind and write a book catered for me and only me. So please don't think my goal is to knock the author. This book just didn't hit the right spot for me.

As far as butt-kicking, demon-killing teenage girls go, I'll stick with Buffy.

Evil Librarian on: Amazon | Goodreads

Retro Review: Illuminae (The Illuminae Files #1)

When I started this blog, I had been posting reviews on Goodreads for about 6 months. In the interest of having all of my book writing in one place, I will post one of these old reviews every Friday. They weren't written with a blog in mind, so please forgive the lack of summary and off-the-cuff tone.

4 stars. Off-the-cuff and unfiltered review for this, FYI: Cute. Clever. Visually stunning. Too much snark, a little too much romance, and too long - reading this felt really tedious at times. Also, unexpectedly and unnecessarily BRUTAL. Like, super deep and super savage and wow there is so much to unpack about the universe and technology and scary situations in space. Also, why can’t anybody I know write a realistic, believable teenage boy? Just curious. But it was entertaining and unique and I really, really love epistolary novels.

Let’s go deeper. Favorite character? AIDAN, by far. I wonder what that says about the living, breathing characters. I guess I would put forth that humor doesn’t necessarily give a character soul, you know? I really enjoyed the gender dynamics, and Kady is a badass heroine, but I just didn’t feel - hmm. Genuinely invested, if that makes sense. There’s also a really strange juxtaposition of hard-hitting science fiction stuff and insanely superficial melodrama. Maybe it’s a personal thing, but I just can’t go from the most intense moral quandary in the history of the universe straight to romantic miracles.

I don’t want to get carried away. I really admire the care with which this book was put together. It’s beautiful, absolutely gorgeous. It’s creative and action-packed and I will likely continue to read this story. It was an enjoyable reading experience overall and I can’t bring myself to give something that obviously took so much effort less than 4 stars. Despite my quibbles, that feels like the right rating.

Illuminae on: Amazon | Goodreads

Review: The Wreckers

3 stars. Taking it way back this week with The Wreckers, a Yearling classic published in ‘99. My husband recommended it as a beloved read from his childhood and I couldn't resist the "high seas adventure" promised. I was immediately shocked by the sheer technicality of a shipwreck - I feel like I would've understood this better had I possessed an intimate knowledge of boats and sailing - but slowly relaxed into a tale that reads like a story heard aloud by the fireplace.

This is the tale of John Spencer, a 14-year boy determined to take to the sea. He accompanies his father, owner of the Isle of the Skye, on a trade voyage, until they are violently shipwrecked off the coast of Cornwall, England. Waterlogged and alone, he witnesses something horrible, something inhumane and tragic. He discovers that the coast is home to a town of wreckers - those who wreck ships on purpose, murder the survivors, and steal the cargo.

It's a nonstop adventure from there - John makes enemies, and friends, and unravels the mystery of the town. He meets murderous monsters and treacherous villains and journeys across moors and through hidden caves. He makes daring escapes and good, heroic choices. It's all really ridiculous, and unlikely, and fun and scary. It was almost a relief to read this from a young person's eyes and recognize the heart and morality of the story. I could depend on the hero.

I can't go without a quiet cringe at one of the story's antagonists - the character of Stumps could be described as downright derogatory. The Americans with Disabilities Act had been around for almost 10 years when this was published - regardless, Lawrence should've known better. It made me uncomfortable - okay, more than uncomfortable - to see a character whose disability was used as an instrument of fear. To make him scarier. Not okay at all.

But this was a page-turning, action-packed adventure, for sure, and a nice, nostalgic break from the angst of adult reading. I might even describe it as a beach read. There's a lot of good luck and a lot of bad luck and an enduring sense that everything's going to be okay. Despite issues with character and plot, the writing is atmospheric and strong. It's a practically nonsensical swashbuckling adventure pre-Pirates of the Caribbean, and like Pirates, it works. 

The Wreckers on: Amazon | Goodreads

Review: The Witch of Willow Hall

3 stars. I picked this up determined to prolong the spookiness in my life after Halloween (and after finishing The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina). I was hoping for something dark, scary, and witchy - and ended up with what was essentially a less sophisticated Jane Austen romance novel. No, I didn’t hate this, hence the middle-ground rating, but it wasn’t what I wanted.

The Witch of Willow Hall tells the story of Lydia Montrose as she attempts to adjust to a new home after her family is exiled from Boston. It is the early 1800s and the Salem witch trials are a not-so-distant memory. Lydia struggles to keep the peace with her two sisters, to sort out her feelings for a handsome neighbor, and to deal with an unseen threat that seems to emanate from Willow Hall - and from within herself.

The premise is interesting enough, but I just could not get behind our heroine. I’m so peeved by characters who are idiotic about their own feelings - it’s called attraction, dummy! You aren’t blushing “for some reason,” you aren’t weak at the knees “inexplicably,” it’s because you’re in lust with somebody! I don’t care what time period you’re from, that shit is universal.

Lydia also - quite unfortunately - confuses, or negates, the feminist undertones of the story. There are some great moments - moments where she demonstrates true female empowerment, and female complexity. And the next moment, she’s fainting into her true love’s arms for really no reason at all. I just don’t get that. She’s a fantastic sister, a forgiving daughter and a badass witch. But this treads dangerously into “not without a man” territory.

Speaking of the romance, I’m sorry, but it didn’t feel real for me. I spoke about one trope already, but there are many here. Insta-lust, sexual tension, a weird love triangle (square?) and some random incest? Hester Fox is actually a BEAUTIFUL linguist, and I loved her way with words, but there’s a lot of room to grow in her plotting.

I’m so sorry, but this wasn’t truly gothic for me. It was somewhat atmospheric, but it wasn’t haunting. It gets three stars because it is a page turner, and because I appreciate the intent here. I’ll likely read more by this author and support her efforts. We always need more stories about strong women! This just wasn’t nasty enough for my tastes.

The Witch of Willow Hall on: Amazon | Goodreads

Retro Review: Warcross

When I started this blog, I had been posting reviews on Goodreads for about 6 months. In the interest of having all of my book writing in one place, I will post one of these old reviews every Friday. They weren't written with a blog in mind, so please forgive the lack of summary and off-the-cuff tone.

4 stars. Ooh, I am so into this. I’m all about comparing books to really specific food and drinks, and this is a cool, refreshing glass of Sprite. It’s electric. I was really, really entertained.

Slightly predictable? Definitely. Did it resemble Hunger Games a little too closely? Maybe. But the worldbuilding is incredible and the technology feels real. And having just visited Japan, I loved the descriptions of Tokyo. And the diversity - so natural and right and real. The writing is simple but in a good way, not amateur … it doesn’t pander to its audience.

I just loved how colorful it was. And I loved the character names, they felt really on point, if you’re the type of person who cares about such things, which I oddly really do. I loved that the main female character codes like a badass, and I loved that the romance took such an unexpected turn.

Warcross, to me, is one of those rare magical books that successfully provides a colorful escape, strong characters to root for, and a sense of youthful adventure. Bottom line: this author is going places and I can’t wait to see where.

Warcross on: Amazon | Goodreads